


Hold Up The Sky

by KillerIceQueen



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Magic, Memory Alteration
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-11-02 03:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10936047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerIceQueen/pseuds/KillerIceQueen
Summary: Kara pondered for a moment, thought about what Zatanna could give her to truly make her pain go away. The answer came to her easier than she expected. "I wish I never became Supergirl." (cannon compliant up to 2x21)





	1. Chapter 1

It felt like her heart had stopped beating. The priest's mouth was moving as he stood at the head of the three coffins but his words fell on deaf ears. Kara's eyes remained glued on the middle coffin, the world around her coming to a standstill. Maybe if she closed her eyes for long enough, she'd open them to find herself back in her apartment waking up from a bad dream. Ever so slowly she shifted her gaze from the center coffin to the one on her right. Superman stood there with Lois by this side, stoic as ever as he said goodbye to his best friend. She couldn't bring herself to look to the coffin on the left. Alex's soft cries pierced her heart like Kryptonite shards of glass. Without looking she knew that Alex was flanked by Maggie and Eliza, each woman doing the best they could to console the distraught agent.

Alex, Maggie, Eliza, and J'onn flanked the casket on the left while Superman, Lois, Lucy, Cat, and Winn stood around the one on the right. This left Kara standing alone in the middle. It wasn't to say that she didn't love all three of them, or that she cared for him more, but she was the closest thing he had to family on this planet. And since she'd been the one to kill his mother, Kara felt it was her duty to make sure Mon-El didn't make the journey into the afterlife alone.

_He's not alone,_ she told herself silently, _he's got James and Jeramiah to go with him._

While Supergirl had been focused on fighting a brainwashed Superman in the battle for Earth, her friends had done everything they could to help protect the citizens of National City. Jeramiah had come out of hiding to help fight against the Daxomites, but their joy of having him back was short lived before he suffered a lethal wound protecting Alex. Once Kara had finally managed to break through to Superman, they'd gone after Rhea in a joint effort. Mon-El had tried to break through to his mother once more, pointing out that she was doomed to lose the war she was heading. He'd gotten caught in the crossfire and the queen herself had taken his life when the blow she'd aimed at Superman had missed. In her rage, Rhea had found James and murdered him in front of Supergirl and Superman, knowing that his death would break both of their hearts.

Even with losing so many, the hardest blow for Kara had come at the very end of the battle. Grief had clouded her usual benevolent nature as she'd gone after the Queen of Daxom. Her punches had been harder, her heat vision burned hotter, and the only thing running through her mind was stopping this woman before she had the chance to take away anyone else Kara cared about. The gun shot still rang loud in her ears. She'd taken a life. It had been such an oddly human way to end things.

The ceremony ended. Slowly, everyone took their leave, each person giving her a small hug or a reassuring squeeze as they passed her. Eliza had tried to get Kara to leave with the rest of them, but it felt like her legs stopped working. All she could do was continue to stare at the now lowered caskets. Earth was safe, but at what cost? How would things have worked out if Kara had taken a moment to think about the consequences of her actions rather than following her heart? Maggie had once told her that she didn't look before she leapt, but what did that matter when you had the powers of a god? There wasn't enough power in the world to protect Kara from this.

"Come home with us," Alex whispered from beside Kara.

She'd been so caught up in her thoughts Kara hadn't heard her sister approach. Alex's warm hand slipped into hers and squeezed. For the first time that day Kara forced herself to look into her sister's eyes. There was red around the edges from crying. She looked tired and battle worn. But underneath the pain shining clearly in the depths, compassion and love shone out. Kara was selfishly relieved that it wasn't Alex in one of those coffins. While the pain of losing her father, friend, and boyfriend felt unbearable, living in a world without her sister felt impossible.

"I love you," Kara said softly, her voice cracking slightly around the edges.

Alex's hand slipped from her grasp as she wrapped her arms around Kara and pulled her close. "I love you too."

They stood like that for a while, neither saying anything as Kara allowed herself to take comfort in Alex's hold. She wasn't sure what possessed her to speak her next words, but she needed someone to know.

"I didn't love him," she breathed. Alex had barely heard the words. She gave her little sister a quizzical look. "Mon-El. He loved me. I wanted to but I couldn't make myself feel the same way. You had Maggie and it sort of felt like I was losing you, having him there made me feel less alone." Kara pulled away from Alex and wrapped her arms around herself. Guilt and self-hatred coursed through her veins. "I cared about him, both as a friend and a boyfriend, but he was never the one I wanted. I almost let the world fall to an alien invasion over someone I wasn't in love with. People we love are dead because I-"

"No," Alex said cutting her off. She stood in front of Kara and gripped her shoulders. "You don't get to blame yourself for this Kara. Regardless of how you felt, Mon-El was still a person who had the right to choose what life he wanted to live. I don't believe he would have chosen to leave even if he hadn't been with you. And you certainly can't control what his mother did. They made those choices, you didn't make them for them."

Regardless of Alex's words, she wasn't so sure that Mon-El wouldn't have chosen to leave if Kara had just been honest with herself about her feelings for him. "Then why do I feel so guilty?" Kara asked weakly. Emotion started to bubble in her chest as she fought to bury them back down deep. If she started crying she wasn't sure she was ever going to stop.

"You've had the weight of the world on your shoulders since you landed here." Alex brushed a stay lock of hair behind her ear. "Sometimes I feel like you take on more burden to spare anyone else from carrying it."

"What's a little more weight for the girl of steel?" Kara joked earning a tiny smile from Alex.

"Sometimes I worry that even Supergirl can't hold up the world forever."

Kara looked past Alex back to the graves, her sister's words resonating in her head. Maybe Supergirl was finally starting to crack under the weight and this was only the beginning. The thought chilled her to the bone.

"Come on," Alex said, urging her to turn around. "Let's go home. Lois and Clark left for Metropolis and everyone else is on their way to my apartment. Maggie's already ordered food."

Kara let herself be lead out of the cemetery but didn't join Alex in her car when they reached it. "You go ahead. I'm going to head home."

"Kara-"

She held up her hand to stop Alex. "I'm just not ready to be around everyone right now. You I can handle but what I can't handle is a night of everyone talking about the three of them and rehashing old memories."

Alex shut her door and walked over to her sister. "Then we'll go to your place, order pizza, and crash on the couch. I don't want you to be alone."

It was just like Alex to put Kara's needs ahead of her own. As much as she wanted to do what Alex had suggested, this time she was going to make sure Alex's needs came before her own. "I'll be fine, I just need some space. Go home to Maggie and give Eliza a hug for me. I'll stop by tomorrow."

A battle played out across the older Danvers sister's face as she debated on letting Kara go or finding a way to forcibly drag her along. "Fine," she conceded. "But Kara I swear if you need anything you better-"

Kara pressed a tiny kiss to Alex's cheek. "You'll be the first one I call."

She waited for Alex's car to drive out of sight before making her way back to her apartment. It would have taken her seconds to super speed back but she couldn't bring herself to use her powers. Despite Alex's reassurances, Kara couldn't stop the guilt churning in the pit of her stomach from spreading and consuming her whole. Right now she wanted nothing to do with Supergirl. Two years ago when she became National City's hero, it had felt like Supergirl and Kara Danvers had melded into one being. For the first time since landing on Earth she felt whole. Now she never felt so divided as the chasm between her two identities grew. Kara on one side, Supergirl on the other. She'd never been so willing to run from her alien heritage before.

It took nearly an hour to arrive at the apartment, the last fifteen minutes of her walk were spent in a down pour of rain. Kara didn't care. While she was opening her door, her super hearing picked up on a heartbeat speeding up. She wasn't alone.

"Alex I told you that I didn't," her breath caught as she caught sight of her intruder. "Lena."

The Luthor took in Kara's appearance. "You're soaking wet."

Kara gently shut the door behind her. "And you broke into my apartment."

Lena's lips twisted into a cruel smile, and Kara knew the cruelty Lena felt was facing inwards not out. "Breaking and entering is nothing compared to the recent atrocities I've committed lately, no?"

Kara sighed and wrung some of the water from her hair. "I didn't see you at the funeral."

Lena shrugged and moved to help Kara remove her sopping coat. "All things considered I didn't think I would be welcome there." Lena went to hang up the coat but after a second thought went to the closet and placed it in the dryer. "I was going to leave you alone, but I needed to see how you were doing."

Kara didn't bother pointing out the fact that Lena could have called. If the situation were reversed Kara would have needed to see Lena in person too, see with her own eyes that she was still standing. She also didn't give the standard 'I'm fine' or 'I'll be okay'. There was no point in lying to Lena, they both knew how broken Kara was.

"I'm glad you're here," Kara said. It was the truth.

Lena offered up a weak smile before pulling out her cellphone. "Why don't you go take a shower while I order us something to eat?"

"I'm not hungry," Kara said much to Lena's surprise.

"I'm never thought I'd ever hear those words come out of Kara Danvers' mouth," she said, stunned. Quickly she composed herself. "Regardless you need to eat and I'm sure you're freezing." She gestured to the bathroom. It wasn't a request.

Kara let out a humorless chuckle as she slid off her wet shoes. "For the first time in my life I think I finally understand what it's like to feel cold." It had nothing to do with the rain. Without hesitation she pulled off her glasses and set them on the counter. When she turned to look at Lena, Kara saw shock mixed with awe on her face. "I suppose there's no point in keeping those on any longer is there?"

Kara knew Lena knew the truth. After the events that unfolded over the last few days, she knew it was impossible for the genius not to put all the pieces together. It wouldn't surprise Kara if Lena had already figured it out beforehand. There were too many cover ups, too many close calls for Lena not to at least suspect.

"No," Lena said, "I suppose there isn't."

Lena unlocked her phone to place their order and Kara went to take a shower, each of them lost in thought wondering where this new step in their friendship was going to take them. Lillian Luthor's previous words played in her head. _"Eventually she'll find out on her own, find out you've been lying to her all this time. And when she does, she'll hate you for it."_ Kara could only hope that Lena would once again go against the grain of the Luthor name. She'd lost enough people, she didn't want to lose any more.

Kara was half surprised to see Lena sitting on her couch scanning the Netflix que when she emerged from the shower. Part of her, the part that believed Lillian's statement was fact, thought she'd be walking into an empty apartment. "I wasn't sure you'd stay," she admitted, taking a seat at the opposite end of the couch.

"I care about you, both as Supergirl and Kara," Lena said earning a careful smile from the blonde. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Your mother said that you'd hate me when you figured it out," Kara slipped without thinking.

Lena cocked her eyebrow. "My mother knows?"

"Yeah."

Worry filled the older woman's face. "Well that's highly problematic."

Kara huffed in agreement. "Yeah."

"Besides," Lena added. "If anyone has the right to hate anyone in this room, you should be the one hating me. I'm the one who couldn't look past my insecurities and trusted that god awful woman. If I had just been stronger I wouldn't have built that device and none of this would have happened."

"Lena despite what happened you were genuinely trying to make this world a better place," Kara hesitated for a moment before placing a hand on Lena's knee. When the other woman didn't push her away she squeezed gently. "I'm the one to blame for this. If I had figured out sooner that I wasn't in love with Mon-El, he might have left with his mother."

Lena placed her hand on top of Kara's. "You needed time to figure things out. No one can blame you for being-"

"What? Human?" Kara's laugh came out more as a strangled cry. "But I'm not am I? My inability to sort out my feelings almost led to the end of the world. I don't get the luxury of being human, not when the decisions I make have these kinds of consequences. Sometimes I think I should have never put on that cape."

"Kara," Lena replied, shocked. "You can't possibly mean that."

"I do," she insisted. "If I were human, we wouldn't be dealing with any of this." It wasn't just the invasion Kara was thinking about. She thought about Krypton dying and her being one of the last of her people. More than anything in that moment, she wanted to know what it was like to be normal without so much death hanging over her head.

Lena could tell from the tone of Kara's voice that this conversation wasn't one they needed to be having right now. Emotions were too heavy to talk about such things logically. Without commenting further on that particular subject, Lena steered the conversation in a different direction. "If you weren't in love with Mon-El, why were you so determined to get on that ship? My mother told me about the cannon."

Kara looked at her incredulously. "How can you ask me that? Lena, you were on that ship. Yeah, I wanted to make sure he was alright, but there was no way I was letting Alex fire that thing with you on board." Kara stood up in a huff, half out of anger, half of desperation. "Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?" Just like with Alex, a world without Lena was a world Kara knew she couldn't survive in.

"Hey," Lena grabbed her hand and pulled her back down to sit next to her. "Breathe, I'm right here Kara. And thank you, once again, for saving my life."

"I promised that I'd always protect you," Kara sniffed. The tears she'd been fighting back all day started to come forth. "I meant it."

Lena wrapped the Kryptonian in a hug as Kara began to sob. "Do you want me to stay with you tonight?"

Kara's answer came in a tiny nod as she buried face into Lena's neck. Having the CEO here made her feel safe, like she could break and trust that someone would be there to help her pick up the pieces. But as she sat there wrapped up tightly in Lena's arms, she had to wonder if there was anything on this earth to ever truly make her pain go away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Keep in mind that this story is cannon only up to the second to last episode of the season. I might take elements from the finale and put them in the story down the road (because Cat and Lena were EPIC!), but for now none of those events took place. I hope everyone enjoys!

Kara was back on Krypton. It was the same room she stood in when Alex had entered her mind to save her from the black mercy. Then she stood surrounded by her family, now she stood alone. Krypton's red sun shone brightly in the distance, casting the rocky surface in a radiant glow. While under Earth's yellow sun she had the strength of a god, but standing here looking at the red sun, her sun, she felt stronger than she could ever feel on Earth. Kara had so much love in her life between Alex and her friends but standing here in this room reminded her that there was always going to be a piece of her that would always be missing.

What would have happened if she hadn't gone with Alex while under the influence of the black mercy? Would they still have found a way to defeat Non without her? Kara had to wonder if everyone's lives would have been better if she'd just given in to her deepest desires and stayed with her parents. It was inconceivable how so many little choices she's made had led her to this point. There have been so many lives she's saved, but how many had she ruined?

Krypton vanished. Now she stood in the center of Central City. A red streak whizzed by her and she turned to see Barry Allen grinning, giving a light hearted wave before speeding off again, disappearing into a worm hole that had appeared in the middle of the street.

Central City turned into Metropolis and she watched from a distance as Superman barreled through the sky towards Lex Luthor. A bolt of green light shot from the billionaire's power suit and Superman fell to the ground. Kara heard the ground crumble beneath Superman's body. But as quickly as he'd fallen, he flew back into the sky faster than a rocket heading for his nemesis. Lex let out a deafening scream as her cousin's fist collided with his suit, purple and green metal glittering the sky.

Kara blinked and appeared in the Fortress of Solitude. Mxyzptlk stood in front of Kal-El's computer, strange symbols Kara couldn't identify scrolling in front of his face. When Kara approached he turned to her, his lips twisting into a devilish smile before he snapped his fingers. Together they stood at the top of a volcano. Though she was dressed in her typical Kara Danvers attire, Supergirl's cape was still pinned to her shoulders. Mxy removed it, not hesitating as he threw it into the lava pit in front of them. The indestructible fabric burst into flames right before her eyes. He held his hand out to her, that ever present smirk still on his face. Kara reached for him slid her palm into his. The moment their skin touched, she woke up.

Yellow sunlight lit up her bed room. For the briefest of moments the color surprised her. Her heart sank in her chest when she peered out the window and didn't see a red orb hanging proudly in the sky. Movement to her right shook her from her thoughts. She rolled over to see a sleeping Lena tucked into bed next to her. Last night came back to her in a rush. She had cried for what felt like an eternity as Lena held her and listened. Eventually after an ocean of tears had been shed by both women, they had collapsed into Kara's bed, sleep claiming each of them almost instantly. Gently Kara reached out and brushed a few strands of raven hair from Lena's face.

So many times this exact situation had played through Kara's mind. Spending a lazy morning next to Lena sharing lighthearted giggles and carefree kisses. But she'd been too afraid of taking that step, too afraid of risking her relationship with her best friend, too confused over her feelings for Mon-El. Lena's face scrunched up with unease and Kara wondered if the woman had somehow read her thoughts and was showing her discontent with the idea of them together. Soft, broken sounds escaped the CEO's lips and Kara realized she was having a bad dream.

"Lena hey," Kara nudged her. "Wake up." Lena's eyes shot open and panic filled green melded with concerned blue. "You're alright, I'm right here."

The room grew silent as Lena's rough breathing slowly returned to normal, the remnants of the nightmare fading from her thoughts. Her hand found Kara's and Kara let out a content sigh as their skin touched. Relief filled her when the world around her didn't fade away like it had with Mxy. If this was a dream it wasn't one she wanted to wake up from.

"How are you doing?" Lena asked.

Kara let out a humorless laugh. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you that? You're the one who just woke up from a nightmare."

Lena simply shrugged as she laced their fingers together. She didn't have it in her to tell Kara that nightmares were hardly an uncommon occurrence for her. "I'll be fine, I'm more worried about you."

Kara took a moment to take in the sight in front of her. Her eyes scanned Lena's face, her full red lips, silky skin, gentle expression, and green eyes like a meadow she'd gladly get lost in for hours. How had she not figured out everything sooner? There was an amazing woman standing right in front of her this entire time masquerading as her best friend. Kara Danvers was absolutely enamored with Lena Luthor.

"After last night I don't think I have it in me to talk anymore," she admitted, shying away from Lena's knowing gaze. "Can we just get breakfast or something? Try to be normal for a minute?"

Soft fingers brushed under Kara's chin urging her to look back into her best friend's eyes. Love, there was so much love shining back at her Kara nearly forgot to breathe. "Of course. I'll make us something."

Just like that Kara was alone in bed, watching Lena's retreating form wondering what in the hell had just happened. "You don't have to do that," she said once she found her voice.

Kara quickly went to the kitchen to see Lena pulling out a carton of eggs from the fridge before searching for a skillet. It was so casual, so natural, like she belonged there. "I'm not really ready to face the city just yet," Lena said, holding up the skillet like it was a prized possession. "Besides we all know the depths of your cooking skills which leaves me making breakfast as our only option."

Kara didn't object. She sat at the island safely out of the way as she watched Lena prep the pan and began cracking eggs into the bowl. A thought popped into her head and the words flew out of her mouth before she could comprehend what she was saying or the effect they'd have on Lena.

"Do you ever wonder if Lex was right?"

The egg Lena had poised at the edge of the bowl slipped from her grasp, cracking on the floor making a goopy mess at her feet. "I beg your pardon?"

Kara instantly regretted voicing her thoughts aloud but continued to elaborate. "In my dream, Lex and Kal were fighting in Metropolis, and it just got me thinking that maybe Lex's concerns weren't completely unwarranted."

Lena's eyes widened as she stared at Kara like she just lost her mind. "Did Superman's blows cause some brain damage?"

"Lena," Kara scoffed. "Be real here."

"No, you be real," she bit back, her voice taking on a dangerous tone. "We both know that my brother was insane. He was obsessed and willing to murder anyone who got in his way of killing Superman. Where in that madness could he have possibly been right?"

"I'm not saying that he wasn't misguided," Kara amended. "But I can see why he thought a Kryptonian presence on Earth could be a threat."

Lena's eyes dropped from Kara's face to the skillet in front of her. She briefly calculated the odds of Kara feeling it if she were to use it to smack her over the head. "I can't…what is even happening right now?"

"Look at all of the things that have happened to this city since I put on the cape." Pain filled her voice as she stood up, walking towards Lena, her eyes pleading for her to understand. "If I hadn't escaped the phantom zone, the Fort Rozz prisoners wouldn't have terrorized the city last year and this Daxomite invasion would have never happened."

Lena took a step back, unwilling to let Kara touch her, unwilling to entertain for a moment that anything coming out of Kara's mouth could be true. "Are you forgetting all the good you've done for this city? Think of all the lives you've saved!"

"Think of all the lives my actions have taken!" Kara's heart felt like it was shattering in her chest as guilt clawed its way inside of her. "People died Lena, and not just the people I care about. Before I was Supergirl, the DEO protected this city just fine without any help. But the moment I became her I painted a huge target over National City. What if the good I've done can never outweigh the bad?"

"And logically that means you start sharing Lex Luthor's values." Lena practically spat out her brother's name.

"I don't share his values, I still think he's a horrible person," Kara defended. "I just think that maybe he was right to want to protect humanity from us. From me."

"Are you listening to yourself right now?" Lena cried. Her hands shot to the sides of her head and for a moment she wondered if she was still locked inside her nightmare. She wanted to scream. "Lex. Is. A. _Monster_."

"Lena I-"

"No, just don't." Anger fueled the youngest Luthor as she stepped up to her best friend, to Supergirl, her eyes blazing with a fury unlike anything she'd ever felt before. "My entire life I've been caught in a battle. There was always a part of me that wanted to be just like Lex and the other part of me was completely terrified of being anything like him. I second guessed every decision I made, all the while taking steps to be the person, the savior, he always claimed himself to be. It was you Kara, that finally made me see reason!" She shoved Kara's shoulders, and Kara in her surprise, took several steps back. "Being friends with you made me see the good that could come from aliens. You're like goddamned sunshine Kara! Your mere presence makes everything better. So no, I won't stand here and listen to you try to justify or humanize Lex! You're wrong."

Kara stood there, Lena glaring daggers into her skull, and willed herself not to give into her pain. Her mind flashed to the graveyard, watching those she cared about being lowered into the ground. Images of her dream flashed in her mind. Barry disappearing into that wormhole, Mxyzptlk destroying her cape in the volcano, Krypton. Her home. Mxyzptlk…maybe there was a way to change things, to set everything right.

Lena's disappointment crashed over her in waves, Kara felt like she might crumble under the weight of it. In seconds she zipped to her room and appeared in front of Lena wearing her Supergirl suit. "I have to go," she said. Her voice was lacking her usual Supergirl confidence.

Lena's eyebrow hitched. "Where exactly are you going?" She asked as Kara walked over to the window and opened it.

Kara refused to meet her in the eye as she answered. "To make things right."

* * *

Maggie groaned as Alex shifted to grab her phone from the nightstand. "Don't answer it," she mumbled, snuggling deeper into her girlfriend's side.

"It's Lena Luthor," Alex said worried.

That got Maggie's attention. As far as she knew, her girlfriend and the L-Corp CEO weren't exactly buddies, so if the Luthor was calling, it meant something bad was happening. "Put it on speaker Danvers."

Alex nodded and swiped over the answer icon. "This is Agent Danvers."

"Alex we have a problem." There was a frantic undertone to Lena's words.

Alex sat straight up in bed, inevitably forcing Maggie up with her. "What's going on? Did the Daxomites-"

"Wrong Alien," Lena said. "Kara's gone."

Maggie nearly cried out in pain from Alex's death grip on her arm. Only the shock at learning that Lena Luthor knew about Kara's Super side kept her in check. "Alien? What did she…Luthor where is my _sister_?" Alex growled.

"Can we please worry about me knowing that Kara is Supergirl later? Something is seriously wrong with her," Maggie thought she heard the woman sniffle on the other end of the line. "We got in an argument and she just left. Alex, she spent the morning trying to justify the actions of my brother. Kept going on about how he was right to be worried about Kryptonians on Earth."

The look Alex gave Maggie nearly cracked her heart in half. She'd seen her partner in a state of worry over her sister too many times to count, but she'd never seen that look on Alex's face before. "What?" Was all the older Danvers sister managed to croak out.

"She said she had to 'make things right' and she flew out the window," Lena elaborated. "I couldn't stop her. I…Alex."

One glance from Alex and Maggie sprang into action. She went to the closet to pull grab some clothes while Alex began typing something into her phone. "Lena listen, Maggie is going to come get you and bring you to meet up with the rest of us. We're going to find her."

"What if we can't?"

Lena's tone made Maggie pause and turn to look at Alex. Alex's face told her that she heard it too. There was heartbreak in the Luthor's question, heartbreak that went deeper than friendship. Maggie knew it well, it was exactly how her voice had sounded a couple of weeks ago when she thought that Alex was going to die.

"We will," Alex assured. There was a confidence to her words that Maggie knew she didn't truly feel. "We have to."

* * *

Kara broke the lock on the door with ease, slipping inside unnoticed. Briefly she wondered if she and Clark should have a better security system than a dead bolt for their homes but pushed the thought aside as she focused on the task at hand. She wished she could use her x-ray vision to quickly search the apartment, but frankly she didn't know where to start. Computers seemed like an ideal place to look but it seemed that wherever Clark and Lois had disappeared to, they'd taken their laptops with them. If the files she needed were on those computers, this trip had been for nothing. She turned to start digging through the filing cabinet and found a gun pointing in her face.

"Kara!" The voice cried. "What in the hell are you doing here?"

Kara blinked. "Lucy?"

Lucy Lane, in her pajamas and dark hair sticking wildly around her face, lowered the gun, glowering. "I was asleep, I heard the noise and thought it was a burglar. When did knocking go out of style? Hey- is that the deadbolt laying on the floor?"

Kara meekly shrugged, not bothering to add that she had in fact come here to steal something. "I didn't realize anyone was here. Sorry."

Lucy set her pistol down on the edge of the computer desk. "I'm on leave because of James and didn't really feel like spending it on a military base. Lois told me I could stay here while she and Clark were gone." The mood of the room dropped at the mention of James' name. Finally Lucy couldn't stand the silence anymore and cleared her throat awkwardly. "So care to tell me the reason behind this impromptu B&E?"

"I'm looking for information and I think Kal might have it," Kara said, choosing her words carefully.

"What exactly are you looking for? I might be able to help."

Kara sat down in the chair at the desk, sighing. "Kal told me that he had a bunch of files of all the superpowered beings on the planet. Said his bat friend complied the dossier and gave him a copy."

"Batman?" Lucy questioned. Kara nodded. "What do you need it for?"

Kara remained silent for a moment. The last thing she wanted to do was lie to her friend but she knew if Lucy knew the truth, she'd never agree to help. "There's a new threat, and I don't think the DEO can help. But I met a man once that could do things no one on this planet could do. It was like magic."

"Mxyzptlk?" Kara gave her an incredulous look. "Alex told me about him. Continue."

"Right, so anyway, I managed to get him off our planet but I'm wondering if there is anyone else out there with abilities like him. If there is, I need to find them and get them to help me."

Lucy stared at the superhero in front of her. Something seemed off about her, but she knew that Kara always did what was right for the people she cared about and this planet. Lucy trusted Supergirl with her life. The younger Lane disappeared into the bedroom, returning a moment later holding a black laptop.

"I know what you're talking about, Lois actually gave me a copy of it when I became head of the DEO. And I think I know someone who can help."

Kara remained silent as Lucy opened up the files and began searching. She only opened her mouth once when she saw a familiar face. "That's my friend Barry!"

"Known on Earth One as The Flash," Lucy read from the profile.

"How could Batman have possibly known about him? He was only on this earth for a few days!"

A humorless laugh escaped Lucy's lips. "The Bat works in mysterious ways I suppose. I know you and Clark are basically gods among men, but sometimes I have to wonder if Batman isn't the most powerful hero among us." She scrolled through a few more files. "Here's your girl. Now Alex told me Mxyzptlk was a fifth dimensional being, and while there's no one on Earth like him, she comes the closest."

Kara peered on the screen and began reading. "It says she's part of the Homo Magi race. I've never heard of them." She scrolled through the more of the text. "It doesn't say where to find her." There was a picture of circular golden device at the corner of the screen. It reminded Kara of an ancient talisman. "What's that?"

"From what I've heard Clark say about her, she doesn't stay in one place for too long. That device is how you find her. It says here that whoever has it can summon her."

Kara's heart sank. "How am I supposed to find this thing?"

"Clark never said outright that he had it, but I have heard him over talking with Lois before about a vault in the fortress. From what I've pieced together he has all kinds of alien weapons and such in it." Lucy closed the program and turned to Kara crossing her arms. "And I know for a fact that Batman has given him stuff before to keep in that vault."

"If Batman was able to pull together this dossier then it wouldn't be farfetched to assume that he's capable of getting his hands on this trinket," Kara pieced together, a new wave of hope coursing through her.

Lucy grinned and nodded. "And it might be safe to assume that if he did get his hands on it, he gave it to Superman for safe keeping. She's your girl Kara, and the key to finding her might be in your own back yard."

Kara squealed and dashed forward to hug her friend. "Lucy thank you so much! Seriously!"

Kara released her hold and made her way over to the door. "Hey Kara, just be careful alright. This woman, she can do some pretty insane things. Watch your back."

"I will," Kara assured before leaving.

* * *

It was nearly an hour later, Lucy had just finished up her shower when her phone went off. It was an emergency alert from the DEO: all hands on deck. She pulled the towel tighter around her body as she dialed Alex.

"Agent Danvers," Alex answered. It didn't take Lucy but a second to pick up on the panic in Alex's voice.

"It's Major Lane," Lucy replied professionally. "I got the alert on my phone. What's going on?"

"Lucy," Alex breathed, relived. "Supergirl is missing. She took off this morning and no one has heard from her sense. We're worried that she might be doing something, well, we aren't really sure what she's doing, but given the circumstances, we can only assume it's not good. We need to stop her before she does something she'll regret."

Lucy's blood ran cold. Her eyes drifted over to her computer sitting closed at the edge of the bed. "I saw her, she showed up here in Metropolis a little while ago."

Her throat tightened as she mentally ran through the list of abilities she'd read on that sheet. If Kara was planning something and managed to summon Zatanna, there was no telling what could happen. She checked the time. Kara would have already made it to the fortress by now, already searched the vault. They were too late.

"Alex, I think I really screwed up."

What had she done?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thank you for the comments and kudos! Hope everyone enjoys this chapter, to be honest it was difficult ending it where I did, I'm having so much fun writing it! (Also, for the record, I saw Wonder Woman this weekend and it was amazing! Everyone should go check it out!)

_Don't throw up,_ Lucy thought. _Whatever you do, don't throw up._ Finally her feet were on solid ground again. "I'm not sure I'm ever going to get used to that," she admitted as she watched J'onn shapeshift back into his human form.

It took all of ten minutes from the moment she hung up with Alex for J'onn to show up at Clark's apartment ready to fly her away. She knew that it was the quickest way to get from Metropolis to National City, but the thought of flying through the air with nothing but a pair of arms keeping her from death was something that made Lucy nauseous.

"Most people never do," J'onn said as he led her into the headquarters.

The sleek professional look of the new building was an upgrade from the damp, dark caverns of the old facility. The only involvement Lucy had had with the DEO since Supergirl had stopped Myriad was searching for Maxwell Lord as a favor to Alex. The older Danvers sister still didn't trust that he wasn't a threat to Supergirl and Lucy couldn't help but agree. Her heart sank as she noticed Alex standing around a round table with Winn and two dark haired women she didn't recognize. Not only had Lucy failed Alex by not finding out any information on Lord, she was personally responsible for helping Kara on whatever crusade the woman was planning.

Growing up with a sister like Lois Lane wasn't an easy one. In areas where Lucy would struggle, Lois would excel. It didn't seem like anything either sister did would be enough to make their father proud, but while Lois accepted this and blazed forward to make her own path, Lucy carefully molded herself into someone she thought her father would want her to be. She thought that if maybe she earned his approval, in a weird way she'd finally beat her sister. But nothing she never did was enough as she sat back and watched Lois thrive at the Daily Planet, all the while maintaining a relationship with Superman himself. It was enough to make Lucy feel woefully inferior. That same horrible feeling swam in her stomach as Alex turned to look at her.

"Lucy," Alex breathed, not hesitating to bound across the room and wrap the younger Lane in a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry Alex," Lucy whispered into her ear. "I didn't mean to make things worse."

"You didn't know," Alex replied pulling her tighter against her. When they finished the hug Alex put her hand on Lucy's back leading her over to the rest of the group. "There was no reason why you should have questioned Supergirl's intentions. In any other situation it would have been the right call."

"But it wasn't any other situation was it?" It figured, the one time Kara had come to her for help, Lucy found herself being used.

"You're the one that can help us find Supergirl?" A black haired woman asked as the pair approached.

Lucy gave her a once over. She wore a professional looking pencil skirt with a while sleeveless blouse tucked in and a pair of black heels that looked more expensive than the entirety of Lucy's closet. More importantly Lucy noticed the way the woman held herself. Her arms were crossed tightly across her chest as if she were trying to physically hold herself together, and her face was cold and calculated, like she didn't want any emotions slipping out to the rest of the world. Her face was familiar to Lucy.

"Do I know you?" She asked.

Alex stepped forward, gesturing between the two. "Lucy this is Lena Luthor. Lena this is Major Lucy Lane, or Director Lane I suppose. Technically she still holds rank here."

"Luthor?" Lucy repeated, slightly scandalized.

Lena, recognizing the tone in the other woman's voice, laughed in spite of herself. "Typical response."

The second woman whom Lucy didn't know, stepped around Winn and towards Lena defensively. "Lena is a…friend. She can be trusted."

"And I'm just supposed to take your word for it?" Lucy questioned, not liking the challenge in the mystery woman's voice. "I don't even know you."

Alex, quickly assessing the tension between the two women, cut them both off. "Lucy this is Maggie Sawyer. My girlfriend."

Lucy cocked her eyebrow at Alex shaking her head. "So now we let girlfriends and Luthors into our _top secret_ headquarters? Times really have changed."

"Look Lucy," Alex chose to use a gentle tone with her friend. "I know you don't know them or trust them, but I do. So please, just trust me okay."

Lucy sighed and nodded her head. "After Supergirl's stunt this morning, trust is something I'm getting pretty low on Alex. I hope you're right."

"I am," Alex insisted smiling at Lena and Maggie, both of which looked like they were ready to smack Lucy.

"Then I apologize," she said genuinely to the two of them. "I thought I could trust Supergirl but clearly I was mistaken. I don't take too kindly to being used my friends."

"You can trust her," Lena said, her voice full of emotion. Alex and Maggie exchanged a glance behind Lena's head. "Kara's just upset right now after the invasion. She's grieving and not thinking clearly."

Immediately Lucy noticed the use of Supergirl's true identity. "They know?" She asked Alex, gesturing between Lena and Maggie.

Alex looked at Lena, a pained look on her face. "They know."

Lucy sighed and handed Winn a flash drive and he quickly put into his computer. On the flat screen in front of them, a woman's face appeared along with her bio. The woman looked to be in her late twenty's, curly, black hair framed her slender face, and mesmerizing dark eyes peered at them from under full lashes.

"Kara didn't tell me what she was planning," the obviously went unsaid, "but whatever it is it starts with her." Lucy pointed to the face on the screen. "Kara said she needed someone with powers similar to Mxyzptlk and she's the closest I could find. Her name is Zatanna Zatara and she's a magic wielder."

"Like Harry Potter?" Winn asked with awe.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Think a little less Hogwarts and a little more Salem and you've got the gist. As far as I've read, there's really no limit to the things she can do."

"That's dangerous," Alex said. Her dark eyes worriedly stared at the screen. "What could my sister possibly want with her?"

"I don't know," Lucy said dejectedly. "But I think I led Kara straight to Zatanna. If our guess was right, Superman has an amulet in the Fortress that can summon her. I don't suppose your Martian Manhunter can zip up there and stop her before it's too late?"

"The Daxom queen did something to J'onn during the invasion," Alex said. "He'll recover eventually but it's a slow process. He can only use his powers sparingly and I'm afraid him bringing you here was the extent he can muster for the day."

"What about Superman?" Lena asked. "He could do it."

"No one knows where he is," Alex replied, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. "James was his best friend. He needed some time to process everything after the funeral. As far as I know he didn't even take his phone with him."

Lucy snapped her fingers and turned to Winn. "He might not have, but if I know my sister nothing is going to keep her disconnected from the outside world. She'd have it turned off out of respect to Superman but-"

"But if she has it on her I can find her," Winn finished. He began typing furiously away on his keyboard. "I've got it, they're in a hotel in Mexico City."

"Run away to Mexico," Lucy muttered under her breath. "How classic of you Lois."

"Record time Agent Schott," J'onn said, joining the group.

Winn grinned proudly. "Does this mean we can talk about that raise again?"

"No."

Winn's face fell as Maggie clapped him on the back. "Tough break buddy."

He grumbled under his breath and began working again. "I hacked into the hotel's records. Looks like she's in room 423."

Lucy picked up the phone from the console. "Get her on the line Winn."

"Two steps ahead of you."

"Hello?" Lois' tired voice asked from the other end of the line. "Who is this?"

"Hey sis, it's Lucy. We've got a problem."

Lois let out an exasperated sigh. "You didn't set my apartment on fire again did you?"

"That was one time and you were the one who forgot to tell me about the faulty outlet!" Lucy defended. "Actually you're not the one I'm looking for. I need to speak to Superman."

* * *

Luck was on her side for the first time in what felt like forever. The amulet shimmered in the otherworldly glow of the Fortress, and it was surprisingly warm to the touch despite the chilling temperatures of the ice around her. This was her chance to change things, to make sure those closest to her didn't pay the price for her mistakes. If she could only figure out how to make the thing work.

"Alright Zatanna Zatara, how do I get you to come to me?"

"Just like that," A voice said from behind her.

Kara spun around to see Zatanna standing next to Clark's Kryptonian computer. Her black hair was hidden under a top hat. She wore a buttoned-up suit jacket over a white dress shirt, heeled black leather boots, and black fish nets across long legs where her pants should have been. She looked just like a magician.

"You hold the amulet, say my name, and I appear. Just like magic." The last bit was said with a mirthful twinkle in her eyes. "Such as odd place to be summoned to. Cold too. _Edivorp em htiw htmraw._ "

Right before Kara's eyes the magician's outfit disappeared, replaced by black thick snow gear. Zatanna had chosen to keep the top hat.

"That was amazing!" Kara exclaimed.

Zatanna chuckled, her laugh warm and inviting. "Honey, that's nothing. So tell me, why did you bring me to this ice palace? I recall giving that amulet to Superman so that no one could use it to pull me away unexpected."

Kara wrung her hands together nervously. She hadn't quite thought of a plan for when she finally did summon Zatanna. All of her focus had been finding the amulet. "You gave it to my cousin? I thought that maybe Batman-"

Zatanna scoffed stopping Kara's sentence mid-way. "I don't trust the bat with anything. He's too busy getting up in everyone's business. But Supes on the other hand," Zatanna smiled a slightly dreamy smile, "that's a hero worth putting your faith in." Her dark eyes danced over Kara and the Kryptonian shifted uncomfortably. It felt almost like Zatanna was peering into her soul. "I'll ask again Supergirl, why exactly am I here?"

"You know who I am?"

Another warm laugh filled the cavern. "My dear, I don't believe there's a soul in the world who doesn't know who you are. Strong, beautiful, a beacon of hope just like your cousin. But there's something else about you, isn't there? Something that makes you different from him. Something possibly darker that Superman can't understand perhaps?" She strode over to Kara without warning, grasping both of the hero's hands in her own. "I see it in your eyes, the pain you feel inside. That dark sense of loss and foreboding failure that your cousin couldn't possibly begin to fathom."

"I'm not sure anyone could truly understand," Kara whispered.

"I do," Zatanna said, her words as broken as Kara felt. "Over the years I've seen so much pain in others, even endured their agony a time or two. And I know loss Supergirl. I know it better than most." She searched Kara's face once more. "That's why you called me here isn't it? You want me to take away your pain."

"Could you?" Kara asked. She stopped and thought about the things that she'd read in Zatanna's dossier report and rephrased the question. "Would you?"

For the longest of moments, Zatanna merely stared at the younger woman. Kara wanted nothing more than to shy away from the pair of piercing dark eyes but she stood her ground. Finally, Zatanna spoke. "I suppose sometimes even heroes need saving." She pulled her hands away from Kara's, the amulet gripped tightly in her left hand. With a wink she shoved the golden trinket into her coat pocket. "So what is it you wish me to do?"

"During the invasion I lost people, people I deeply cared for," tears began to well in her eyes. "Can you bring them back?"

"I can," Zatanna said. "But I won't." Kara's heart shattered. Before she could ask why not, Zatanna elaborated. "The price for bringing a soul back to this world isn't one you're willing to pay."

"How do you know?" Kara challenged.

"It's a life for a life," Zatanna said to Kara's dismay. "And though you have oceans of pain inside of you, I can see that you're infinitely too pure of a soul to condemn an innocent to death. No matter how much you might care for those you've lost." Zatanna fiddled with the brim of her top hat, no longer looking Kara in the eyes. "Besides, I've paid that price and let me tell you, it's not worth it. The person you bring back is never truly whole and it leaves a stain on your soul that can never be washed away."

Kara was reeling from the implications of that statement. Forcing her mind away from the hopelessness weighing in her chest, she focused on the thick clouds her breath made when it hit the freezing air. "There has to be something," she muttered unknowingly.

Zatanna watched her in sorrow. Though she didn't know this hero standing in front of her, it was hard for her to see someone so strong, being so broken and lost. "Take a moment to think about what could truly make you feel free from your burdens."

Kara pondered for a moment, thought about what Zatanna could give her to truly take away her pain. The answer came to her easier than expected. "I wish I never became Supergirl."

Zatanna looked taken back for a moment, shocked that someone so powerful would choose to give up something such as that. Then her mind started spinning. "Time travel, too risky," she muttered. "Time lines are too fragile, reality itself could break." Kara's mind shifted to Barry and how he had created something he called _Flashpoint_. "I've got it!" Zatanna exclaimed startling Kara.

"You can make it to where I never put on the cape?" Kara asked in disbelief.

"More or less," Zatanna shrugged while taking Kara's hands in her own once more. "I want you to know something Supergirl. You are such a brilliant force for good. I've looked in on you from time to time, just as I do your cousin. I know the sacrifices you've made, the lengths you go to for those around you, and I know you're tired. But the world truly needs Supergirl, and I know in time, you'll come to see it as I do."

Kara tried to pull loose from Zatanna's grasp but it was as if her hands were bound there by an unbreakable chain. The Fortress began to glow with a warm, bright light. "I don't understand! I-"

" _Ease eht nedrub fo siht traeh,"_ Zatanna said, starting the spell. _"Ekam reh lrigrepus on erom!"_

The light became so bright Kara had to close her eyes. All around her the warmth grew and she felt like she was floating through the sky. Though the light around her was blinding, darkness crashed around her, like tides in the ocean wanting to swallow her and drag her under.

"The best of luck to you, Kara Zor-El."

The tides won. Kara succumbed to the blackness around her and as she drifted away she couldn't help but feel like she was finally free.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I know this chapter is a tad bit shorter than the others, but it's getting late and I have to go back to work today. I didn't really want to end this where I did but I wanted to get something out to you before I get the chance to write again later in the week. I hope you all enjoy, and thank you for all the feed back and nerd chat in the comments!

" _Hey, I think she's starting to come to."_

" _She's stirring. Alex-no, come here. Yeah, squeeze in here next to her."_

It sounded like she was under water, the voices around Kara sounded far away and muffled. Her head swam. Not exactly in an unpleasant way. There was no pain, in fact, she felt better than she had in quite a while. Her body felt lighter, almost free. Free from what exactly she wasn't sure, but before where it felt like she was anchored down by unbearable weights, now it was as if she could fly. Finally she opened her eyes and was immediately greeted by a bright light.

"Ouch," she mumbled.

Her sister's concerned face blurred into view, "Are you in pain?" She asked slightly frantic. "What hurts?"

"I-I'm fine," Kara assured. "The light is just really bright."

Alex motioned towards someone close to the door and the lights dimmed. Kara gratefully sighed and took a moment to take in her surroundings. It looked like a hospital room, but she knew most hospitals didn't have such advanced technology in their facilities. Her gaze shifted from the equipment to the small mob of people surrounding her bed. Alex stood closest to her, right behind her was Lena. The rest included her mother, Maggie, Lucy, and Winn who stood in the entry way to the room. He must have been the one who dimmed the lights.

"What happened? Was I in an accident or something?" It was then she noticed the slight glow of a sun lamp close to her head. "Why did you guys stick me in a tanning bed?"

The worried look the group shared was completely lost on her. "We sent Superman to find you," Lucy finally said. "You were found unconscious, he brought you back here."

"You guys know Superman!" Kara exclaimed, sitting up rapidly much to Alex's disapproval. "Is he still here? Can I meet him?"

"That's not funny Kara," Alex said, her worrisome demeanor ever increasing.

"I'm not joking," Kara said. "I bet Miss Grant would love an article about Superman saving one of her employees. Maybe he could give me a quote. I just gotta find-" she began fumbling around the table to her left looking for something to write with. After coming up empty, she settled on grabbing her phone and started an audio recording. "Do any of you want to comment on the incident or your connection to Superman?"

"That's not funny Kara," Alex repeated, her voice growing thick. Their mother touched her eldest daughter's shoulder reassuringly.

Eliza opened her mouth to speak but was stopped by J'onn entering the room. "There's a robbery in progress downtown, there are reports that the suspects are using alien weaponry," he stated. All eyes in the room turned to Kara expectantly. "Think you can handle it Ms. Danvers?"

Kara looked at him like he was from another planet. "And what exactly do you want me to do? Call the police?" She gestured lazily to Maggie standing at the foot of the bed. "You've already got Detective Dimples here, wouldn't it be quicker for her to radio for back up?"

"That's not funny Kara!" Alex cried.

Eliza gripped the distraught woman, guiding her away from Kara and towards Maggie. "It's okay sweetheart, just give her some space."

Maggie held onto Alex tightly as the agent began to cry on her shoulder. Kara reached out towards her, wanting nothing more than to comfort her sister, but dropped her hand sadly. She wasn't quite sure what she'd done wrong, but knowing that she'd done _something_ to make Alex lose it made a wave of sadness wash through her.

"I'm sorry Alex I-" Kara choked up. Tears of her own began to form. "I don't know what I did. I-"

Eliza's hand was warm as it wrapped around Kara's. "It's alright baby, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why is Alex crying?" Kara asked. She struggled to keep herself together. One Danvers sister losing it was more than enough for one room. "Mom, what's going on?" Eliza looked taken back. "What?" Kara felt like a scared child.

The older woman shook her head. "Nothing, nothing. I'm just…you haven't called me mom in a while."

Kara's laugh was strangled and broken. "I'm pretty sure I've called you mom since I could talk. You always said it was my first word." Alex watched the exchange with red rimmed eyes. "I mean, what else would I call you? You're my mom."

A fleeting worried look passed over Eliza's face before a carefully composed look of compassion took its place. She brought Kara's hand to her mouth and gently placed a kiss to the back of her hand. "I am. Don't worry, everything is going to be alright."

"Not that this matter isn't pressing," J'onn interrupted. "But we have to do something about the incident downtown."

"Why? Won't Supergirl just take care of it?" Kara stated.

The silence in the room was so thick Kara thought for a moment she'd gone deaf. Everyone, J'onn included, looked at her like she just said the world was ending. No one spoke and Kara found herself wanting to sob in the intensity of their gazes. Alex was the one that broke the silence.

"I'll go," she said. Her voice was emotionless and hollow. Maggie instantly went to follow her girlfriend as she headed for the door. Alex put her hand on her shoulder, shaking her head. "Stay with my sister. I'll feel better knowing you're watching over her."

"What about backup?" Maggie inquired, equally caught between Alex's well-being and Kara's.

Alex nodded to Lucy who was already walking past the couple to gear up. "I've got backup. Just…please Maggie."

The detective nodded before pressing a gentle kiss to Alex's cheek. "Stay safe."

Right before Alex made it out the door Kara spoke up. "Alex stop! What are you doing? You're a doctor, what good are you going to be against guys with alien guns?"

Alex's knuckles turned white as she gripped the doorframe, her face contorting with pain. Though she didn't have super strength she felt in the moment that the metal frame might crumble under her grasp. "Don't worry Kara, I'll be fine." Before her younger sister was able to protest, Alex disappeared out of the room.

"Stop her!" Kara erupted fighting her way out of the bed. Eliza held her back entirely too easily. Blue eyes darted between J'onn and Eliza. "She's going to get hurt! Why is no one else freaking out right now?"

Kara could have sworn she heard Lena mutter "oh we are" under her breath.

"Sweetheart sit down," Eliza instructed, pushing her daughter back on the bed. Kara's mother glanced at J'onn for confirmation. When the man nodded she continued. "Alex, well Alex isn't a doctor exactly. She works for the government, the department of-"

"Wait," Kara cut her off. "She lied to me?" Eliza sadly nodded yes. "And all of you knew?" Suddenly all of the eyes that had been boring into her since she'd woken up now wouldn't meet her gaze. Kara looked around the room, noting for the first time the lack of doctors. "This isn't the hospital, is it?"

"No, it's not," J'onn said.

Kara felt sick to her stomach. The vast medical room suddenly felt suffocating. She needed to get out of there. "If I'm not dying then I'd like to go home."

Eliza pursed her lips together. "I'm not sure that's the bes-"

"I said I want to go home!" Kara jerked her hand away from her mother's, catching the metal plating of the bed in the process. She hissed in pain and watched as crimson liquid welled in her palm. Groaning, she grabbed a towel from the medical tray next to her and wrapped it around the wound. "It's shallow, nothing to worry about."

Kara wouldn't meet anyone's eyes, though she could feel that once more everyone was staring at her. The thick tension was back in the room and Kara still couldn't shake the ever lingering feeling that she'd done something wrong. It was J'onn who broke the silence.

"You're free to go."

Kara, and everyone else, jerked their heads to look at him. His face showed nothing as he stood there, stoic, looking at the injured blonde studiously like one might look at a piece of art or a difficult equation on a white board. Kara, not wanting to give him the chance to change his mind, quickly slid off the bed and into her shoes before marching towards the door.

"Wait," Eliza called after her. "At least let someone drive you home. You've had a difficult day and I'd rather you not be traversing the city alone."

"I'm more than capable of handling myself," Kara said defiantly.

"I'll go," Lena said before Eliza had the chance to speak again. "If…if that's alright with you Kara."

Kara's eyes met Lena's, their connection making everyone else in the room fade away. For the longest of moments they just stood there staring at one another, a silent conversation seeming to pass between the pair. Finally Kara nodded and Lena didn't hesitate to hustle after the woman.

Winn, J'onn, Maggie, and Eliza still stood crowded around Kara's sun bed, all completely aloof on what had just transpired. Maggie's mind felt like it was spinning in circles. All of the facts going around and around like a storm until it stopped when she thought about the look that Kara and Lena had shared. She found herself relating to that moment, it was something she and Alex did quite frequently. One glance around the room told her she wasn't the only one noticing the connection between the two.

"What happened to my daughter?" Eliza asked. Now that both of her children were vacant from the premises, the carefully composed mask she'd put on was staring to slip showing the true fear underneath. "Why did you let her go J'onn?"

"Because when I scanned her mind I found nothing alien about it."

Eliza's eyebrows furrowed together. "What do you mean?"

"I mean Kara wasn't just confused," J'onn said, "she honestly doesn't have any memories of her alien past. The mind read was brief, but in it I saw nothing of Krypton or her relation to Superman. And what she said about remembering you telling her that her first word was mom? She has an actual memory of you saying that to her when she was six. Even though she was nowhere near Earth's orbit at that age."

"So she has no idea that she's an alien, let alone Supergirl," Maggie said, her police tone evident.

J'onn's expression was grim. "Right now, Kara Danvers is as human as you are Detective Sawyer."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I am so sorry that its taken me so long to update. I travel across the country for work and am away from home for weeks or month at a time, this last time away has really worn me out and I haven't been up for doing much. Given recent events at SDCC, I know a lot of people in this fandom have been having a rough go at things, which has made me determined to get this chapter up and get a jump start on the next one. Thank you so much for your patience everyone!

“Is my sister going to be alright?” Kara asked a few minutes after Lena’s car pulled away from the DEO building.

Disregarding the fact that she’d been lied to, the thought of Alex out in the city fighting made her gut wrench in the most painful way. It didn’t matter that apparently every person in her life had kept the truth about Alex hidden, all that mattered was that she stayed safe.

“Alex Danvers is one of the most capable agents the DEO has,” Lena said with confidence. “I’d be more worried about the robbers than I would her.”

“Hopefully Supergirl will show up and have everything wrapped up before Alex even gets there,” Kara whispered to herself. She didn’t see the way Lena’s fingers clinched around the steering wheel as she guided the vehicle through crowded city streets. “So, all of you knew then? And no one thought it was a good idea to tell me?”

Lena opened her mouth to speak but immediately closed it. What was she supposed to say? The silence stretched between them for several city blocks before Lena finally spoke. “It’s a complicated situation.”

“Lies always are,” Kara muttered. The moment Lena pulled up in front of Kara’s building the blonde had her seat unbuckled and was bounding out the door.

She was halfway to the entry way before Lena was able to shift the car in park and chase after her. “Kara I-” Once more the young Luthor found herself at a loss for words.

“Lena if you don’t mind I’d really like to be alone right now.”

Thoughts of a powerless Kara filled Lena’s head. The woman in front of her was vulnerable, she could _bleed_ , and she seemed more alone in this moment than Lena had ever seen her. A sense of responsibility filled the CEO. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she had to protect Kara. It was an odd twist on things. Who would have ever thought Supergirl would need protection? And a Luthor being her guardian no doubt.

“I don’t want,” Lena sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. “Fine, yeah I guess. If that’s what you want.”

Kara couldn’t stop Lena from staying parked close by to keep an eye on things. Lena would stay all night if that’s what it took to keep her safe. Dejectedly, Lena made her way back to the black Mercedes. She’d go around the block to make sure Kara had thought her gone before picking a spot to camp out for the night. Lena had just buckled her seat belt when she heard Kara grumble and call after her.

“Lena wait!” Lena rolled down the passenger side window and Kara leaned in. “I don’t have my keys. Do you still have the spare I gave you?”

Lena’s lips twisted into a victorious smile before shutting off the engine and exiting the vehicle.  Petulantly, Kara followed her to the elevator and her front door. The blonde exhaled a sigh of relief when she crossed the threshold. The world outside these walls might be a chaotic mess right now, but inside she felt safe. That feeling of weightless freedom she felt upon waking was starting to be replaced by uncertainty and worry. She allowed herself to be enveloped in a warm embrace from her home and willed the bad feelings inside of her away.

“Do you want dinner?” Lena asked breaking through Kara’s thoughts.

From Lena’s posture it was clear to Kara that the woman had no intention of leaving. Kara opened her mouth to decline but her stomach growling, loud enough for both of them to hear, betrayed her.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Lena said chuckling. “I’ll call and order us something.”

“You don’t have to do that, I can make us something,” Kara said. Even though she was still angry about the events that transpired after waking up, she couldn’t bring herself to be rude.

Lena cocked her eye brow. “Oh? Did you wake up with new found cooking skills?” Kara rolled her eyes. “Seriously, do you remember last week when you tried to bake cookies for Alex and Maggie?”

The Kryptonian crossed her arms, refusing to look Lena in the eye. “They weren’t that bad.”

This time Lena laughed deep and full. “Tell that to the cookies you massacred. I’ll cook, you can watch from a nice, safe distance where you can’t harm our meal.”

It was the second time today Lena was cooking in Kara’s kitchen. She could only hope that this time would go better than the first. Wordlessly she moved around the kitchen, once again pulling every instrument from its place like she belonged. On the rare occasions where Lena would cook the pair would idly chat about their day or their friends. Tonight Kara couldn’t bring herself to partake in such normalcies. The feeling of betrayal and the overwhelming feeling of wrongness left a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She couldn’t get over the fact that every single person in her life knew the truth about Alex and not a one of them had bothered to tell her. Didn’t they trust her?

“I’m going to find something for us to watch,” Kara said. She didn’t hesitate to move to the living room and switch on the TV, instantly grateful for the noise to penetrate the ever-growing silence.   

Minutes later Lena sat next to her on the sofa, leaving a sizable gap between them. Without realizing, Kara scooted closer to the other woman. Lena however took note and her lips formed a gentle smile. “The food will be ready soon.” Kara nodded mutely, watching from the corner of her eye as Lena sank deeper into the cushions, turning her attention to the TV.

The pair sat in an awkward silence for the entirety of the cooking process. When the timer went off, Kara perked up like a puppy. Lena smiled at that. It was nice to know that some things about the blonde stayed the same regardless of whatever crisis was plaguing them.

“Would you so kindly?” Lena gestured to the oven.

“Oh yeah,” Kara hopped up. “Sure thing.”

Lena watched as Kara opened several drawers around the kitchen before looking back at the CEO with a baffled expression.

“Is there a problem?”

“Yeah uh,” Kara opened another drawer only to close it with a huff. “Why don’t I have any pot holders?”

Lena’s eyes widened, she’d completely forgotten that Kara and her impenetrable skin were always handling all the hot trays and such in the kitchen. Nearly all of them had gotten after her about it at some point, but each time she’d refused to buy any, claiming it was her way of making sure that she was always useful in the cooking process since her cooking skills left something to be desired.

“Uh well,” Lena stuttered, “funny story…”

* * *

 

_Kara: Alex I’m still mad at you for lying but please let me know that you’re alright._

“Girlfriend?”

Alex stopped typing her reply and turned to face Lucy. “No, it’s Kara. She wants to know that I’m alright.”

“Oh,” Lucy said, her demeanor dimming for a brief moment before a brilliant smile lit up her face. “Tell her that these guys were cake and you were a total badass. Which you were.”

Alex couldn’t help but laugh, the text from her sister momentarily forgotten. “For someone who got blasted twenty feet and slammed into a parked car you sure seem chipper.”

“I’ve missed this,” Lucy admitted. “For almost a year I’ve been trying to track down Max Lord, each time coming up short. I haven’t seen any action for a while, I think this was exactly what I needed.”

“Speaking of Max, it’s a bit odd that you haven’t come up with a single thing, don’t you think?”

Lucy nodded her head, her expression turning grim. “Yeah, I mean, Max is smart, like Lex Luthor smart, but still nothing? Even he can’t be that good at hiding his tracks from the government. I think someone higher up in the government than me is blocking my efforts from behind the scenes.”

Alex’s phone vibrated in her head before she had a chance to speak.

_Kara: I’m serious Alex, I’m worried._

“You might want to answer her before she has an aneurism.”

“Which she might actually be able to get now,” Alex said more venomously than she intended.

_Alex: I’m fine. So is Lucy. Just packing up, getting ready to head back._

While she was at it, Alex sent a text to Maggie as well to assure her girlfriend that she was still in one piece. After hitting send she followed Lucy over to their SUV. “What are the odds that if the government is involved, Max might be doing something not dangerous to my sister?”

“Considering the time frame in which he went missing?” Lucy unclasped her utility belt, placing it in the back hatch. “I’d say slim to none. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the DEO was unable to recover Non’s tech from Myriad.”

“You think Max ran off with the alien tech?” Alex asked. She placed her gear next to Lucy’s and bent down to retie her boot.

“It’s one of the many possibilities I’ve come up with in the last year.” Alex’s phone lying on the bumper vibrated again.

“Could you?” Alex gestured to her phone.

“Sure.” Lucy swiped the screen and immediately started laughing. “Uh Alex, why does Kara think you stole all of her pot holders?”

“What?” Alex stood up, grabbing the phone from Lucy’s hand. “I didn’t.”

_Kara: You took all of my pot holders? Do you know how unsafe that is? We had to use a towel to get dinner out of the oven and you’re never supposed to do that. The frayed parts of it can catch on fire! What if Lena had burned herself?_

Alex’s baffled look only made Lucy laugh harder. “You know,” Alex began. “When I was younger, there were so many times where I wished I had a normal sister. I never thought becoming normal would make Kara even stranger.” Alex reread the text and shook her head ruefully. “I could have been a doctor,” she said to Lucy.

“Yeah,” Lucy agreed shutting the back hatch. “But this is so much more fun.”

“I’ve got a superhero sister with no superpowers and the world’s strangest case of amnesia,” Alex said dryly. “I’m having a blast.” After starting the car she checked her phone again.

_Maggie: Glad to hear everything went smoothly Danvers. I’m sitting outside of Kara’s apartment keeping an eye out. I love you._

_Alex: I love you too. Thanks for watching over her. Lena is with her, I’m going to call for an update._

_Maggie: Let me know what’s up. And tell Luthor that for someone so smart she’s really dumb. She left her window rolled down. But at least she managed to lock the doors._

A warm smile washed over Alex’s features. Maggie had that effect on her, even in the worst of circumstances she knew how to shine a light through the dark skies that always seemed to cloud up Alex’s world. She re-read Maggie’s message once more before tapping on another name and hitting ‘call’.

Lena answered on the second ring. “I’m guessing National City is safe again Agent Danvers?” There was a hint of humor in the Luthor’s voice, like she knew exactly why Alex was calling.

“Everything’s fine,” Alex replied before sighing. “So, care to explain why I’m a liar _and_ a thief in my sister’s eyes?”

“Kara was a tad baffled when she went to pull dinner out of the oven and couldn’t find any pot holders. What was I supposed to tell her? The truth? After seeing her cut her hand, even if she did believe me, I’m not sure she’d be able to take the heat any more. Literally.”

While Alex couldn’t argue against Lena’s line of logic, the conversation was beginning to cloud her mood. “So naturally blame me.”

“It was the first thing I could think of,” Lena admitted. “Better you than me.”

“Cute,” Alex quipped. “So what is she doing now?”

“After she text you she went to the bathroom to wash up.” Alex heard Lena’s heels tap against the floor as she crossed the apartment. “Scratch that. She’s out cold in bed. That was fast.”

“Seems having her brain scrambled was exhausting.” Dejectedly, Alex ran her fingers through her short hair. “Has she said anything that might help us figure out exactly what’s going on?”

“I’m afraid not,” Lena said.

There was a long pause, Alex pictured the other woman leaning against the entryway of Kara’s room, watching her sleep with worrisome eyes. Though Alex hadn’t seen the pair together much, Lena’s tone alone when she called earlier that morning was enough for her to wonder if there was something more than friendship happening between Lena Luthor and her sister. She wondered if she would be okay with it if there were.

“Alex? Agent Danvers!”

Alex shook her head, tuning back into the conversation. “Sorry, I was lost in thought there for a moment. What were you saying?”

“I was saying that I was thinking of staying here tonight, unless you wanted to come over yourself. I wouldn’t want to get in the way.” It took no effort at all for Alex to figure out that was the last thing Lena wanted. The woman’s tone said it all.

“No,” Alex said, even if she wanted to be at her sister’s side more than anything. “Right now I’m not exactly Kara’s favorite person. I think she’d be a lot calmer if you were the one by her side.” Lucy, who had been sitting silent in the passenger seat for the entirety of the conversation, placed a comforting hand on Alex’s arm. “Besides, I think it would be better for everyone if I was at the DEO trying to get more information about Zatanna and what she did to Kara.”

“I’ll keep an eye on her, you don’t have to worry Alex.”

Lena’s words reminded her of Maggie’s text. “Oh, Maggie has been watching the apartment, she says you left your window down.”

“Oh of course I did.” There was a jingle of keys and the sound of a door opening then closing. “Well, I promise I’ll be more careful with Kara than I am with my Mercedes.”

“Noted,” Alex said, knowing deep inside Kara would be in safe hands. Metaphorical hands. She didn’t need a mental image of Lena’s hands on her sister. “Call if you need anything.”

“Will do.”

* * *

 

Maggie usually wasn’t the jealous type, but there was something about knowing her girlfriend was out in the field with Lucy Lane that was making her stomach churn. When Alex had asked her to stay behind it had stung. She knew Alex Danvers, better than almost anyone on the planet, and the only thing Alex cared more about that protecting the citizens of National City was Kara. The fact that Alex had asked her to look over the most important thing in the young agent’s life was humbling. It spoke volumes about how highly Alex thought of her. But still, there was something about the way she saw Lucy looking at Alex, the way Alex instantly relaxed when the Major walked in the room. There was chemistry there, a history there, and Maggie didn’t like it.

Which really sucked, because she was sure that Lucy Lane was someone she could grow fondly of quickly.

A dark-haired figure exiting Kara’s apartment building broke her out of her thoughts. “About time Luthor,” Maggie said as she climbed out of her cruiser.

“You could have called and told me,” Lena huffed as she climbed into the driver seat and turned the key.

“I don’t have your number,” Maggie pointed out. “I could have called Kara I suppose but I don’t think Little Danvers knowing that her sister is having a cop follow her around is going to help matters any.”

“You’ve got a point there.” Lena rolled up the window and stepped out of the car. “Well, I for one feel safer knowing that you’re here.”

“Oh?” Maggie cocked her eyebrow.

Lena nodded her head, her lips pursing into her signature smirk so many magazines had worked to catch on camera. “I mean, anyone willing to brave entering a relationship with Alex Danvers is someone to admire. Especially when you don’t have Kara’s puppy dog eyes to make her bend to your will.”

Maggie smile a full dimpled grin. “No, but I have other tricks up my sleeve to help me get my way.”

Lena’s cheeks reddened as she held up her hands in mock surrender. “Oh, the things I didn’t need to know.”

The pair both laughed, the tension of the day slowly starting to fade from their shoulders. “You know Luthor, you’re not so bad.”

“Amazing how easy it is to bond with someone when you’re not dragging them away in handcuffs isn’t it?” Lena’s tone was gentle, teasing. Her phone chimed in her hand, drawing her attention. After a few seconds, Lena’s smile turned downcast, all the former dismissed tension now filled her face.

Maggie’s detective instincts kicked in. “What’s going on?”

“It’s work, I have to go.” Lena said promptly, fumbling with her keys. She twisted a key off the ring and handed it to Maggie. “That’s the key to the apartment, please go up. I don’t want her to be alone.”

“You have a key to her apartment?” Maggie twisted the tiny piece of metal in her fingers. “How domestic of you two.”

Lena ignored her jibe. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Hopefully this won’t take long.”

Maggie grabbed the other woman’s arm before she could climb back into the vehicle. “All things considered, don’t you think you can skip the office just this once?”

Lena pulled her arm away, her eyes glinting like steel. Though Maggie had basically just manhandled her, somehow the detective knew the anger wasn’t directed towards her. “This isn’t someone you just skip out on. They’re already at my office and they don’t like to be kept waiting.”

“Who could possibly be so important that you’d bail on Kara?”

Lena’s face grew impossibly grimmer as she started the engine. “Maxwell Lord.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

Lena didn’t waste any time expressing her feelings the moment she walked into her office. “I would say it’s a pleasure to see you but frankly it’s been a long day and I think lying is a bit beneath us.” She took a seat at her desk not bothering with pleasantries by offering Max a seat. “Now would you care to explain what you’re doing barging into my office at,” she paused to glance at the clock. “Nine o’clock at night?”

Max Lord was anything but deterred by Lena’s annoyance. The glint in his eye told Lena that he was particularly enjoying this game. Calmly, he took the seat across from the L-Corp CEO, studying her demeanor. For the longest of moments neither billionaire spoke, each glaring at each other over the expensive desk trying to decipher what the other’s agenda could possibly be.

Eventually Max spoke. “I would say that I’m sorry for intruding at the late hour, but as you said, lying is beneath us.” He reached into a brief case, pulled out a folder, and tossed it on the desk in front of Lena. “I’m here because I believe we have mutual interests.”

Lena opened the folder to see a set of blueprints of a device. It was unclear what the device’s intention was, but knowing the kind of business Max did behind the scenes at Lord Technologies, she could only assume it was a weapon. In the center of the design there was a spherical object, foreign in nature, no bigger than a baseball.

“What exactly am I looking at?” She inquired, not looking away from the pages in front of her.

“That device is the end to our alien problems,” Max stated confidently. “The sphere in the middle is the device that the Kryptonians used to power their mind control technology. I’ve reengineered it to work against them instead of for them.”

Though Lena had still lived in Metropolis while that particular attack had happened in National City, she’d read countless reports on the incident, horrified at the things she’d uncovered. Venomously she shoved the documents back towards Max. “I don’t dabble with alien technology any longer Max.” Painfully her mind flashed through the last few weeks working with Rhea.

“Yes,” Max began, a knowing glint in his eye. “I supposed after your recent endeavors with alien technology you would be leery of working with such things again. But I believe your problem wasn’t with the technology itself, but the deceptive alien who gave you said technology.”

Lena gritted her teeth. L-Corp’s involvement with the Daxamite invasion wasn’t public knowledge. Though she was willing to personally accept the responsibility of the consequences of her actions, she wasn’t willing for all of her employees to lose their jobs over something they had no part in. Lena had done the best she could in the days after the invasion to cover up all of her company’s involvement in the incident. She had been working on a solution to help the city as much as possible when Kara had gotten involved with Zatanna. After that, everything else had taken a back seat.

“How do you know about that?” She asked, her voice taking on a dark tone.

Max held up his hands in defense, though his face clearly showed he was enjoying having caused this reaction in the younger woman. “Relax, I don’t plan to expose your exploits in some sort of sordid corporate espionage, I just wanted to lay everything out on the table. In fact, it was your work with the portal that made me realize you were exactly the person I needed to work with on this project.” Max stood and walked over to the drink cart. “May I?” Lena gestured her hand and he poured them each a sizeable glass of brandy. When he handed her a glass, she took a gulp to calm her already frazzled nerves. “You and I want the same thing, to be the technological innovators that help man reach its full potential, and we both know how big of a threat aliens pose to us. Just like the Queen of Daxam proved to you, they aren’t to be trusted.”

Lena internally steadied herself before speaking. “I’m still failing to see what exactly it is you want from me Max. From what I see in the blueprints you don’t need my help in the building process.”

“You’re correct, I already have the device finished and the first test sessions are prepared for later this week. No, what I need from you in a way to get close to Supergirl.”

“Your target is Supergirl?” Red hot rag filled Lena at the thought. “If you think I’m going to help you kill National City’s hero you can forget it. Unlike the rest of the Luthors, I make it a habit to stay out of the murder business.”

Max calmly sipped at his drink. “I never said anything about killing Ms. Danvers, I just want to take her alien heritage out of the equation.”

Lena’s heart seized at the mention of Kara’s true identity. Lies instantly sprang to her lips to protect the hero’s identity but Max spoke again before she could get a word out.

“Yes, I know Supergirl’s human identity, I’ve known long before you ever did,” Max finished his drink, placing the glass on the desk with a clink. “I’ve seen your name along headlines with Supergirl and I know you’ve developed a friendship with Kara. It’s smart what you’re doing.”

The urge to punch Max in the face was so strong that Lena had to lock her fingers under her desk to keep herself from lunging forward. “And what is it you think I’m doing?”

A smile graced Max’s lips. “I think you want the same thing the rest of your family does, but I think you’re going about it in a much smarter fashion. Lex went crazy, his plans overshadowed by the chaos of a madman and Lillian might as well have ‘terrorist’ stamped on Cadmus’ forehead. But you, rebranding your company and getting in close, making Supergirl and her allies believe that you’re a friend, waiting for your moment to act, now that is pure brilliance.”

Lena wanted to vehemently deny all of Max’s claims, insist that she truly was an ally to Kara and the DEO, but she knew if she did, the hopes of truly finding out Max’s end game went out the window. “That’s what you’re basing all of this on? My last name?”

“I wouldn’t be so foolish,” Max said. The arrogance in his tone caused Lena to fight back laughter. If he wasn’t so narcissistic he might be able to look past his own ego and see how truly wrong his assessments were. “I know about Lex’s vaults, and I know that after helping your mother open one, you went in search of more and have the contents of two others presumably hidden here,” he gestured to the building around them. “That right there proves to me that your ideals are in line with mine.”

This time Lena didn’t bother to hide her outrage. “No one knew about that, what did you do Max hack me? Have me followed?”

“Nothing quite so nefarious. It was a stroke of luck that I learned about the vaults. The government had uncovered those vaults a while back and had been monitoring them. One of my associates on this project happened to be looking in when you and your team arrived.”

The rage boiling in her veins turned to ice when Lena realized what this meant. She was going to have to come clean with Kara, Alex, and the others about taking Lex’s technology if they had any hope of stopping whatever insane plan Max was brewing. Lena wasn’t dumb, she knew Alex and the rest of Kara’s friends were still hesitant to trust her. She never intended to use Lex’s devices to harm Kara, only take them apart and study them to see if there was anything she could repurpose to put to a better use. The real question here was if anyone would believe her when she told them the truth.

Max took Lena’s silence as a sign that she was seeing things from his perspective. “So what do you say? Will you help me? If this is successful we should be able to reprogram the device to target more than just Kryptonians. In time, we could rid the world of alien threats without ever having to harm a single one of them. They’d be just like us in the end.”

Lena chose her next words carefully. “Your ideas seem solid but I still don’t trust you. I’ll need some time to think about it.”

The other CEO nodded like this was exactly the answer he expected. Pleased with how their conversation had taken place, Max retrieved the files from the desk, placed them back into the briefcase, and stood. “I understand. I’ll send reports of the initial test results after tests have concluded at the end of the week.”

Lena nodded. “I trust you can see yourself out.”

The smile on Max’s face made Lena’s skin crawl. “Have a good evening Ms. Luthor. I look forward to working with you.”

* * *

 

“Little Danvers, you’re awake.”

Kara blinked at Maggie through sleep filled eyes as she stumbled clumsily into the living room. “Hey Maggie, what are you doing here?”

“Lena had a work emergency,” Maggie stated simply, not bothering to clue the younger Danvers on just how urgent the circumstances had been. Though she hadn’t been around for the insanity that Maxwell Lord had reigned upon her friends, Alex had told Maggie enough for the detective to know that wherever the man went, bad things followed.

Kara did her best to control her face to keep her emotions from shining through. Not that she didn’t love Maggie, but it was a special kind of disappointment when you were expecting to wake up to Lena Luthor only to find the woman missing. Apparently she wasn’t as inept at hiding her emotions as she thought, because as soon as she checked her phone Maggie saw right through her façade.

“What’s up?”

Kara sighed, plopping down in the seat across from Maggie. “It was Lena. She said she can’t make it back tonight. Whatever she left to take care of must have been really important.”

Worry welled up inside of Maggie. The urge to be next to Alex during this inevitable storm was overwhelming. Only the woman in front of her, with deep blue eyes filled with sorrow, kept her rooted in her seat. Alex was more than capable than handling herself and the only issue they had that was more pressing than whatever Lord was up to, was Kara’s current predicament.

“I know it’s not the same as Lena being here, but you and I can still hang out. Watch a movie or something,” Maggie offered.

Guilt clouded Kara’s face. “Oh no Maggie, it’s not like that. Of course I’m happy to be spending time with you, you’re family. It’s just that Lena-well she and I…I don’t know.” The blonde chewed at her bottom lip with an uncertainty Maggie was all too familiar with.

Internally the older woman debated if it was her place to say anything. With everything else that Kara currently had happening to her, even if she was completely unaware of the circumstances, adding her feelings for Lena to the mix could add even more stress to the situation. Maggie’s mind flashed back to her teenage self, sitting in her bedroom, alone and self-conscious about the girl at school and what all of her feelings meant. She remembered the conflicting emotions she felt as the lines of friendship and desire haphazardly blurred together. The last thing Maggie wanted was that confusion for Kara.

“I’m going to be blunt here, and I assure you that whatever is said will stay between you and I.” Kara’s eyebrows knitted together as she watched Maggie study her intensely. “Do you have a thing for Lena?”

“A thing?” Kara choked out. “Like a thing, thing?”

“Yeah Kara,” Maggie laughed, Kara’s phrasing instantaneously making her feel silly. “A thing, thing.”

“No, no of course I don’t. We’re just friends.” She was no longer meeting Maggie’s gaze. “I mean, no. No.”

“So no?” Maggie chuckled.

“Yeah, no.” Kara went silent. Maggie watched as several emotions played out across her face while she internally debated on what to do. “Maybe. Maybe there’s something. It’s weird, the more I think about it the hazier it gets. I’m trying to think about the time we’ve spent together, some moments, like our lunches and interviews I remember clearly, other times, it’s like it’s blurry around the edges.”

It dawned on Maggie then. Of course things with Lena would be confusing for Kara in more than just the normal way. Half of the memories she’s made with the other woman have been while she was saving her or working with her as Supergirl. Which the superhero would have no memories of.

“Don’t focus on the time you’ve spent together,” Maggie said trying to steer the focus away from Kara’s lapse in memories. “Focus on the things you feel when she comes into your mind,” she offered.

Instantaneously a dreamy smile appeared on Kara’s face telling Maggie the younger Danvers was hopelessly smitten. “She makes me feel like I can fly, like I can accomplish anything. Like when I’m with her, I don’t have to hide who I am. I feel free. Which makes no sense because there’s nothing special about me to have to hide,” she babbled. “I’m anything but extraordinary. But she makes me feel, normal. At peace. Weird huh?”

“Yeah,” Maggie choked. “Weird.” So maybe pushing Kara to open up about this wasn’t such a good idea. The Kryptonian was smart, both as Kara Danvers and as Supergirl. It was only a matter of time before she began putting the pieces together and realized that her foggy memories were anything but normal.

“I remember waking up next to her this morning, and it felt like everything clicked into place. But the rest of the day is kind of blank. Everything feels a bit off,” Kara continued. Silence fell between them then. Maggie was afraid of speaking and making things worse, while Kara tried to match her memories to her feelings. “She scares me,” Kara finally said in a much less confident voice.

“Because she’s a woman?” Maggie found herself asking before she could think about it.

“Yes and no,” Kara said. “Obviously it doesn’t bother me that she’s a woman, but it worries me too because I’ve never had feelings for a woman. What if I’m not good at it? Is it that different from dating a man?”

Maggie ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. “I wouldn’t know kid, I figured out pretty early that men weren’t my thing. I’ve only ever dated women. But as the phrase goes, it’s about hearts, not parts.”

Kara laughed at the cliché, her exterior brightening a bit. “It’s just that, the way my heart jumps and my insides go all mushy when she’s around, I’ve never felt anything like that before. I guess that’s what scares me the most.”

Maggie couldn’t help but to smile. “Funny, that’s almost exactly what I felt when I met your sister. Though you’re handling the situation a lot better than I originally did.” Guilt filled Maggie as she remembered how she bolted from her feelings while Alex had bravely leapt into hers. She hated the pain she had initially caused the woman she loved, and part of her wondered if she’d ever be able to forgive herself.

“Hey,” Kara gingerly placed her hand on Maggie’s knee. “You’re here now, and you make Alex happier than she’s ever been. That’s what counts.”

Tears welled up in Maggie’s eyes, she would never understand how she was fortunate enough to have both sisters in her life. “Thanks Little Danvers. So what are you going to do about Lena?”

“It’s different with us than it was with you and Alex. Lena is my best friend. If I go for it and she doesn’t feel the same way, I could lose one of the most important people in my life. In the end you have to wonder if it’s worth the risk.”

“That’s always the question isn’t it?” Maggie mused. “Well, while I have my suspicions, I can’t speak for Lena and tell you for certain how she feels, but what I can tell you is that she appreciates honesty. I think she would want to know regardless. And if she doesn’t feel the same way, then at least you won’t have to deal with the what ifs.”

Kara knew Maggie was right, but still her nerves rattled inside of her. “If Lena doesn’t feel that way about me, do you think our friendship could survive something like that?”

“Absolutely,” Maggie assured. “That much Kara, I’m certain of.”

* * *

 

Lena wiped the sweat from her palms onto her skirt as she walked through the entrance of the DEO. She couldn’t remember the last time she was this nervous. Her nerves hadn’t been this bad at either Lex or Lillian’s trials, but the thought of speaking to Alex Danvers right now made her feel faint. Lena spotted the woman in question at the front of the room, leaning over the shoulder of Major Lane to look at a computer screen. Lena took a deep breath and approached.

“Agent Danvers, I need to speak with you.” Both Alex and Lucy turned to face her, confusion written on both of their faces. “Alone. It’s urgent.”

Panic filled the agent’s face. “Is Kara-”

“Kara’s fine,” Lena interjected before Alex could properly panic. “Maggie is with her. I would have assumed she’d have told you.”

Alex pulled out her phone to see two missed texts from her girlfriend. “She did apparently. I got so caught up here I forgot to look at my phone.” She grabbed Lena’s elbow and led her to an empty side room. “We can talk in here. What’s going on?”

Lena took a deep breath and spoke. “There is something I have to tell you, something you aren’t going to be happy about, but I implore you not to punch me. At least, not until after I’ve told you everything.”

Alex’s face darkened, her posture switching into a defensive position like she was preparing for an attack. “I don’t like the sound of that, but I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt. Start from the beginning.”

So Lena did. She told Alex about Max’s visit, the blueprints, Max’s plan to use her to get close to Kara, and lastly and most painfully, she told Alex about the tech she’d taken from Lex’s vaults and hidden at L-Corp.

Predictably, Alex was enraged. “So you’re telling me this entire time you’ve had weapons that could kill my sister just lying around in your lab? Are you kidding me right now Luthor? Were you ever going to tell us?”

Every ounce of Lena’s being wanted to shrink away from Alex’s anger but she forced herself to stand her ground. Speaking calmly, she began to defend herself. “No,” she said honestly. “I wasn’t planning on telling Kara or the rest of you until I had found a way to repurpose them for a good use, or destroy them. I figured there was enough going on between Cadmus and Rhea, I didn’t want to add to the list of ever growing problems.”

“And I’m just supposed to believe that?” Alex rebutted not trying to hide the irritation in her voice.

“The only way we’re going to find out what exactly Max’s device will do to Kara is for you to trust me. He’s got to believe that I’m willing to help him, and maybe I can keep him at bay long enough for you guys to fix whatever Zatanna did to her memory. If Max finds out that she’s no longer in the position to defend herself, he’ll know he has no use for me and she’ll be gone.” Alex mulled over everything that Lena had just said to her, trying to find some other path they could take without having to involve the Luthor. “Trust me Alex,” Lena began, her voice earnest and soft. “The last thing I want is for Kara to get hurt.”

Alex groaned and put her hands on her head. “I want to trust you Lena, I was starting to really like you, but after everything you’ve just told me about the vaults, how am I supposed to? Especially with something as important as my sister’s life?”

The words sprang to Lena’s lips before she could even think about it. It was a truth she’d barely told herself, and now she was about to tell someone who had every right to hate her. “I’m in love with her.”

Alex said nothing. Lena waited for the outburst of disapproval but it never came. Instead Alex stood still, staring at her with studious eyes trying to find the lie behind Lena’s declaration. They stood like that for minutes, neither speaking, the tension in the room growing thicker by the second. Deep down Alex knew Lena was telling the truth, she’d known something was brewing between her and Kara from the frantic tone in Lena’s voice this morning. Now she was standing on a very precarious edge with Kara’s fate hinging on the decision she made next.

“Okay,” Alex breathed. “Okay, I’ll trust you. But you work with us, clue us into what Max is doing every step of the way. Try and buy us some time if you can so we can find Zatanna and reverse whatever is happening with Kara.”

It was like a lead weight had lifted off Lena’s chest as she let out a shaky laugh. “Thank you Alex. I promise, I won’t let any of you down.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.” Alex exhaled a deep breath allowing the tension to flow from her body. “And Lena, if anything happens to Kara, you’re going to have to answer to me.”

“Right,” Lena gulped. “So, what do we do now?”

“Now, we go to my sister.”

* * *

 

Kara and Maggie were nearly finished with their movie when a knock at the door interrupted them. Maggie paused the movie and went to answer, her hand moving towards her gun as she walked across the room. Her shoulders relaxed when she looked through the peephole and hastened to undo the deadbolt.

“Hey babe,” she greeted as soon as Alex crossed the threshold, Lena right behind her.

Alex smiled warmly, leaning in to kiss Maggie. Lena walked passed the couple and took Maggie’s seat next to Kara on the sofa.

“Sorry I had to leave,” Lena said. “I wouldn’t have if it wasn’t important.”

“I know, it’s okay.” Kara tried to ignore the way her pulse sped up while being in close proximity of her friend. “Did you get everything taken care of?”

Lena nodded. “For now.” She looked at the TV and decided to change the subject. “What are you watching?”

“The Total Recall reboot.”

Lena quirked her eyebrow. “I thought rom coms were more your style?”

“They are,” Kara sighed. “Maggie picked.”

“Ah,” that explained it.

“It’s late,” Alex interjected their small talk. “Maggie and I are going to go back to my place to get some sleep, I would suggest you two get some rest as well. Lena, are you okay to stay here with Kara tonight?”

Kara and Maggie each looked at Alex curiously at the suggestion but Lena was unfazed. “As long as Kara doesn’t mind then sure.”

“I don’t mind,” Kara quickly said then winced at her over eagerness. “But uh, Alex, what’s going on? It’s starting to feel like you’re making me have a babysitter.”

Alex squatted down in front of her little sister so they were eye level. “I know there are some things I haven’t told you about myself, but I’m going to need you to trust me on this Kara. I promise, as soon as I know more about what’s going on I’ll tell you, but for now I don’t think it’s smart for any of us to be left alone.” Until they knew exactly what it was Max was planning it was best to assume none of them were safe. Kara still looked unconvinced. “Hey look at me.” Alex gently lifted Kara’s chin until their eyes met. “You aren’t happy with me right now I know, but I love you more than anything else in this world. Your safety is the most important thing to me.”

Tears brimmed in Kara’s eyes as the overwhelming love she had for her sister filled her. “I love you too.”

“Good,” Alex smiled, fighting back tears of her own. “Stay close to Lena and I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

Kara nodded and leaned in to hug Alex while the other two occupants looked on. The love the Danvers sisters had for one another was such a precious thing in this world that each of them felt their heart swell at the sight.

When Alex pulled away Kara turned to Lena. “I guess I’ll go make the bed up for us.” The blonde missed the looks both Alex and Maggie shot at them but Lena didn’t.

“Uh, sure yeah,” she said, flushing under the attention. “That would be great. Thanks Kara.”

Kara left the room forcing Lena to look at the older Danvers who was giving her a very piercing stare. “Remember our talk.”

Lena mutely nodded. Maggie and Alex called out their goodbyes to Kara before making their exit, leaving Lena alone in the apartment with Kara and a whirlwind of thoughts. Several moments later Kara returned from the bedroom, the smile she was wearing disappearing as soon as she noticed the look on Lena’s face.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

Shaking her head, Lena did her best to push her confusing thought aside and gave a weak smile. “Just thinking about work stuff. And it’s getting late. I think exhaustion from the day is finally catching up to me.”

Brilliant blue eyes bore into forest green ones. “I know you well enough to know when you’re lying Lena. But you’re right, it’s late and I won’t push. Maybe we should just go to bed.”

Kara stood to go to the bedroom, Lena right behind her. “Kara wait.” Kara paused mid step, turning to give Lena her focus. “Maybe it’s best that I sleep on the couch tonight.”

Kara’s heart sank. Could Lena possibly know her feelings towards her? She didn’t think that she’d done anything to alert the other woman, but maybe Lena just had a way of picking up on these things. “Um, alright. I guess I’ll grab a spare blanket for you then.”

Lena, aware that she’d hurt Kara’s feelings, grabbed the blonde’s arm before she could walk away. “It’s not that I don’t want to share a bed with you, I do want to, and that’s the problem.”

“I’m so lost,” Kara admitted.

Lena sighed and dropped her hand wondering how in the world she was going to do this. _Screw it_. “I’ve been having more than friendly feelings towards you for a while, I just couldn’t really admit it to myself until day. Given that fact, I don’t think it’s fair to you that I pretend everything between us is normal. If I slept in your bed tonight without you knowing how I felt, it would feel like I was taking advantage or something and I’m not willing to do that to you.”

Lena’s heart was hammering in her chest, so it was surprising to say the least when Kara surged forward and pressed their lips together. She melted into the kiss, the pounding in her chest seizing making it feel like her heart stopped all together. A sense of calm washed over her, a feeling she was very unfamiliar with. All of the wandering thoughts in her head, all the worries about the never-ending troubles around them, faded into nothingness. The only thing Lena felt was Kara and the warmth this kiss brought to her being. Kara pulled away first, panting and breathless. She gave Lena a warm smile and opened her mouth to speak. Before any words escaped, a deep rumbling shuttered under their feet causing them to grip onto one another for balance.

Once the rumbling had stopped, they both raced to the window to see what had happened. They were greeted to a series of police sirens as cruisers and fire engines flew down the city streets. In the distance, they could see a building on fire, the embers blazing bright in the darkened sky.

“Wow, I didn’t think our first kiss would be so earth shattering,” Kara mumbled. “Literally.”

Lena merely hung her head and groaned.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Maggie and Alex hadn’t made it ten feet into Alex’s apartment when the ground under their feet shook.

“Tell me that wasn’t an explosion,” Alex said, pinching the bridge of her nose. It seemed the longest day of her life was about to get even longer.

“I would but I thought we agreed to no longer lie to each other,” Maggie quipped while she pulled out her phone. As Alex sent a text to J’onn, Maggie placed a call to her unit. “This is Detective Sawyer, I need a status update on whatever the hell is happening downtown.” Maggie listened intently, nodding her head along with the information being relayed to her. “I can be down there…are you sure? Yeah, yeah, alright but if the situation changes I want you to call me right away.”

“What’s up?” Alex asked as soon as Maggie ended the call.

The detective slipped out of her leather jacket and leaned down to untie her boots. “A gas line explosion. No alien involvement and so far no casualties. The fire department should be able to handle things.”

Alex’s phone buzzed in her hand drawing her attention away from her girlfriend. “It’s Lucy, she’s saying pretty much the same thing,” she sighed with relief. “Looks like they don’t need us on this one.”

“Lucy huh?” Maggie asked, her tone short.

“Yeah,” Alex replied not understanding the sudden change in Maggie’s voice. “Is something wrong?”

Maggie instantly felt like an ass. The woman standing before her had just lost her father and her friend and things with her sister were a mess. The last thing Alex needed from her right now was the added weight of insecurity and jealously. So even though she promised Alex no more lies, Maggie shook her head and placed a gentle kiss to Alex’s cheek.

“I’m going to go take a quick shower before bed,” she said, turning before her face could betray her emotions.

Alex however wasn’t having it. The taller woman grabbed ahold of Maggie’s arm, gently turning her back around to face her. “Mags, something’s up. C’mon, talk to me.”

“It’s stupid,” Maggie muttered, mentally berating herself for letting the situation being brought up.

“Nothing you have to say is stupid,” Alex argued, rubbing her hands on Maggie’s arms hoping to coax the information out of her. When Maggie didn’t speak Alex grew worried. “Have I done something?” She asked.

This time Maggie’s shake of the head was genuine. “No, at least I don’t-no,” she decided.

Maggie was the one who in the past, had treated her girlfriends poorly. Maggie was the one who had cheated on the woman whom she’d believed she loved at the time. In the back of her mind, She always believed that karma was waiting for her to fall in love, so that she would be on the receiving end of such harsh treatment. But Alex wasn’t her. Alex Danvers was a much better person than she could ever hope to be. Alex would never do something like that to Maggie, no matter the circumstances.

“You have to tell me.” Alex’s face grew worried. “I won’t be able to sleep until I know.”

Maggie let out a long sigh knowing from experience that Alex was telling the truth. “I’m jealous of Lucy,” Maggie admitted painfully. “I guess I’m used to being the one next to you when stuff goes down and it was hard to watch the two of you run off together today.”

“Me and Lucy?” Alex was dumbfounded.

Despite of the subject, Maggie found herself laughing at Alex’s cluelessness. “C’mon Danvers, she’s drop dead gorgeous and a certified badass. I don’t even have to see her in action to know that, it radiates off her in waves.”

Alex still looked shocked. “Yeah but I mean it’s Lucy. She’s not even into women.”

Maggie cocked an eyebrow at that. “Are you so sure? Because I saw some of the looks she gave you when she got to the DEO. They didn’t exactly scream straight. And I don’t know, in walks this woman who you’ve never talked about and you guys were just so happy to see each other, it kind of just got my insecurities running rampant.”

“Do you think I’d do that to you?” Alex asked, visibly getting upset. “I should have told you that we talked, god I’m so stupid I-”

“No,” Maggie interrupted. “Alex you’ve done nothing wrong okay? This one is all me. You don’t have to tell me about every detail of your life, I trust you. Like I said, I’m just being insecure. I guess a part of me still doesn’t believe I deserve you.”

Alex’s face only fell further. “Maggie Sawyer you’re one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. You’ve made me feel happy in a way I never thought was possible. You more than deserve me.”

The ticking of the clock hanging on the wall was the only sound permeating the silence as Maggie allowed Alex’s words to seep into her being. Maggie’s voice was thick when she spoke. “I love you.” It didn’t feel like enough to truly convey how she felt, but it was all she had.

“I love you too,” Alex returned with no hesitation and a smile on her face. “Let’s get some sleep while things are relatively quiet.”

Maggie’s dimples shined as she let the love of her life pull her towards the bed. When they were lying in bed, Alex’s head tucked into the crook of Maggie’s shoulder, Maggie found herself still unable to fall asleep.

“Alex?” She whispered.

“Hm?” Alex hummed sleepily, the trials of the day catching up with her.

“I won’t push, but you know if you need to fall apart for a minute about Kara or…or your dad, I’m here okay?” She subconsciously pulled Alex closer as she spoke the words, like her arms alone would shield the agent from all the hurt the world kept throwing their way. “Ride or die remember?”

More awake now, Alex lifted her head enough to look Maggie in the eyes. “Honestly, all I want to do is fall apart Mags. Every part of me hurts, all the way down to my soul. But I can’t yet, not until I make sure things with Kara are fixed. Then, and only then, will I let myself break.”

Overwhelmed with emotion for this unbelievably strong woman in her arms, Maggie closed the tiny gap between them, their lips melding together roughly. Maggie tried to pour all of her love into that kiss. “When you do I’ll be right there beside you,” she said breathlessly when Alex pulled away.

Alex settled her head back where it was and Maggie stared mindlessly at the ceiling. Not for the first time that day she found herself thinking how fortunate they all were to have the unrelenting force that was agent Alex Danvers.

* * *

 

Everyone was abuzz at CatCo when Kara stepped off the elevator the following morning. She’d been told that the building had been wrecked during the alien invasion but one wouldn’t know that now. Everything, even down to the pink statue, looked pristine as always. Kara walked through the flurry of people, sparing a pitying glace at the new intern smacking the copy machine furiously, and headed for Cat’s office.

“I said hot!” Cat cried at her assistance. “This is colder than my mother’s attitude at my college graduation! How am I supposed to help CatCo bring order back to this chaotic city without the help of a piping hot latte?”

“I’m sorry Ms. Grant I…I-” the assistant stammered.

Cat opened her mouth to launch into another tirade when she spotted Kara standing in the doorway. “Just, go fetch me another.” Her voice was calm and composed when she spoke this time.

The assistant scrambled out of the office as fast as her high heels would allow and Kara entered, closing the door behind her. “It’s hard to believe that used to be me,” she said with a light chuckle.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous Kara,” Cat scoffed. “That was never you. I mean yes, you had plenty of screw ups, but you were always exceptional.”

Kara flushed and adjusted her glasses sheepishly. “Thank you, Ms. Grant. Anyway, I thought I would stop by and see how you were settling back into your office.”

“Well,” Cat began with a huff. “James completely ruined my organizational system. I can’t find anything and-wait a minute, what are you doing here?”

“I work here?”

“No,” Cat sighed. “I thought you were on leave until next week?”

“Why would I be on leave?” Kara asked, clearly confused. “I’m not sick.”

Cat narrowed her eyes at the blonde. “Because of James, and that boyfriend you had. Mike was his name?”

“Miss Grant are you feeling alright?” Kara asked. She walked over and guided Cat over to the sofa. She took a seat next to her boss, watching her with concerned eyes. “I haven’t had a boyfriend in quite a while, the only Mike I know is guy from the fourth floor who always smells like whiskey and what happened to James was awful, but I don’t see why I’d need to take a leave of absence over him dying. I might have said five words to him the entire time he worked here.”

“Perhaps I should be the one asking you if you’re feeling alright,” Car amended, grabbing Kara’s face and turning it to check for signs of damage. “Have you hit your head recently? Or maybe taken some drug from a stranger perhaps?”

“Ms. Grant…Ms. Grant, I feel fine,” Kara exclaimed, pulling Cat’s hands away from her face, clasping her wrists in her hands. “Everyone is acting so weird around me lately. What has gotten into everyone?”  Kara shook her head. “Anyway, that’s not important right now. I’ve got a story that I want to pitch to Snapper before anyone else catches wind.”

“What about?” Cat asked, her curiosity getting the best of her.

“It’s about that gas line explosion last night. And yes before you say it, I know it’s all anyone is talking about right now, but I heard rumors that Supergirl was a no show last night. I checked the news and there weren’t any alien attacks or robberies during the time of the explosion, so where was she?”

Car’s expression turned from curious to mildly panicked. “Wouldn’t you just be able to ask her? You’re usually the reporter she turns to are you not?” Cat mentally made a note to talk to Kara about ethics and quoting herself for articles when the time came.

“Yeah, but it’s not like I have her number or anything,” Kara sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “She usually just finds me. I haven’t heard from her in a while come to think of it.” Her voice trailed off. A thought filled her head, one that made her feel excitement and dread in the same instant. “But I might know someone who can get ahold of her.” She hopped off the sofa and bounded for the door. “I’ll see you later Ms. Grant!”

Cat watched open mouthed as Kara scurried out of the office, bumping into another woman in her hurry almost knocking them both to the ground. She watched as Kara grabbed her shoulder, her face flaring with a brief pain that Cat knew wasn’t faked.

“Pam!” Cat called out. “Pam! Honestly how hard is it to find good help these days?”

“Her name is Meg,” the woman Kara had knocked into said as she strutted into Cat’s office.

“Excuse me?”

“Your assistant,” the woman clarified. “Her name is Meg, not Pam.”

“And you are?” Cat questioned, crossing her arms across her chest.

“I’m kind of like a back-up assistant. Human resources thought it best, given the state of things here, that you have more hands on deck. Or in case your assistant had a mental breakdown in the bathroom. Which she is, by the way.”

Cat rolled her eyes. “Well I assume you’re capable of finding a phone number for me?”

The woman gave Cat a smirk. “Oh, I’m very capable. I’ll have it for you faster than you can blink,” there was a mischievous glint in her eye. “Just like magic.”

“Very well,” Cat huffed, waving her hand dismissively. “I need you to find a way for me to get ahold of agent Alex Danvers. Quickly.”

The woman nodded, her dark curly hair cascading over her shoulder when she turned. “Whatever you need Ms. Grant.”

* * *

 

Kara’s heart was racing as she knocked on the door. Memories of last night played through her head, Lena’s declaration and their kiss. Oh Rao, that kiss. Before Lena and Alex had come over, Kara had told Maggie that being around Lena made her feel like she could fly. She didn’t realize how true that statement had been until she’d pressed her lips to Lena’s. Honestly, Kara would swear that for a few seconds, she had been floating. Which made waking up in her apartment all alone that much heartbreaking.

“Come in!”

Taking a deep breath, Kara steeled herself and entered the office. It took Lena several seconds to look up from her computer screen, giving Kara a moment to stare at her unabashedly, drinking in every feature. Lena looked up, her eyes softening as she did so.

“Kara, this is a surprise,” Lena said softly. “Is everything alright?”

Those words tumbling off those perfect lips stirred something inside of Kara. Deep down, there was a sense of loss, of abandonment. No one had ever abandoned her, and the only loss she had ever suffered was her father dying shortly before Alex graduated high school. But those dark feelings wouldn’t go away. Lena had been gone before Kara had even woken up. She hadn’t even bothered to leave a note.

“You were gone,” Kara whispered, her voice insecure and small. Her reason for coming here was completely forgotten the moment she laid her eyes on Lena. “Was there…did I do something wrong?” All of her insecurities rushed forward in an instant. She couldn’t help it, there was no one else on the planet who could make her feel the way Lena does.

“What?” Lena asked clearly astonished. “No, no of course not.” She stood up from her desk and walked over to Kara, who hadn’t moved an inch since she entered the office. Gently she took Kara’s hands in her own and guided them over to the couch. Lena briefly wondered how many of the moments they’ve shared on the couch Kara remembered. “Last night was great. It was perfect Kara. Honestly.”

At first Kara didn’t want to believe her, but there was so much sincerity poured into Lena’s words, in the end she couldn’t help but believe them. It made her even more confused. “If everything was fine then why did you run out on me this morning?”

Lena’s grip on Kara’s hands tightened. How could she possibly explain this? The Kara sitting beside her wasn’t her Kara, she wasn’t whole. Lena wanted all of her, the sunshine, the storm, and the superhero. It was frightening, one of the scariest things Lena had ever experienced, wanting someone so desperately. But it was a fear she was fully ready to embrace, just not like this. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them.

At first, she thought about giving some lame excuse about work but decided that Kara deserved the truth. At least, the closest thing to truth that Lena could give her. “I just don’t think the timing is right.” Kara’s eyes turned downcast. She tried to pull her hands away but Lena held on with a desperate ferocity. “I care about you, so much, but I guess I-I just need a little time.”

“Time to figure out if this is what you really want,” Kara said, unable to hide the bitterness she felt inside.

“No, I’m already certain about that part Kara,” Lena said, pulling her hand away from Kara’s and cupping the blonde’s chin. “There’s never been a doubt in my mind about what I want. It’s you.”

Kara’s head was dizzy, having Lena this close made it near impossible to think clearly. She didn’t understand how she found the strength to pull away. “If you need time to think, taking this any further isn’t going to help.”

Blinking slowly, Lena let Kara’s word sink in. The reporter was right, as much as Lena hated it. All she wanted to do was continue where they’d left off last night, but the nagging feeling in her stomach wouldn’t let her. No, she supposed, being with Kara like this would be disrespectful. The last thing Lena wanted to do was take advantage.

“You’re right,” Lena sighed. Painfully she leaned back into the sofa, a rueful smile playing at her lips. “I promise, I’ll try not to take too long.” Lena only hoped they found a way to help Kara soon. She wasn’t sure how long she could resist the woman sitting next to her, morals be damned.

“Take all the time you need,” Kara said more confidently than she felt. Inside, her stomach was twisting and turning at the thought. “Just so you know, as soon as you decide you’re ready, I’ll be there. I’m not sure there’s a force on this earth that could pull me away from you.”

_If only she knew_. Lena thought. Would Kara feel the same way once she got her memories back? When she remembered Mon-El and the invasion and Lena’s actions during the entire ordeal? Would she still want to kiss her when she remembered what the Luthor name truly meant to her family? Sure, she and Kara had managed against the odds of their namesakes and become friends, but friends and these waters they were beginning to tread were vastly different.

“Well,” Lena began. “Not that I’m trying to get rid of you Kara, but I really do have a lot of work to do. Unless you need something else?”

Startled by the sudden switch in Lena’s demeanor, Kara shuffled ungracefully off the sofa. “N-no,” she stammered momentarily forgetting herself. “Uh, wait, actually there was. I came here for some information for an article I was thinking of writing.”

“Oh,” Lena cocked her eyebrow. “Well, ask away.”

Kara scrambled to fish her notebook and pen out of her messenger bag. With the items secured firmly in her lap she instantly felt more grounded, the notebook acting as a shield, keeping her safe from her unsettling feelings and giving her focus.

“I noticed that during the gas explosion last night Supergirl was nowhere to be found.” Thanks to no longer having super hearing, Kara didn’t hear the way Lena’s heart sped up or how her breath hitched. “Before coming over here I did some research and noticed there have been several incidents over the last thirty-six hours where she hasn’t shown up.”

“I fail to see a question in there Kara,” Lena said doing her best to sound calm.

“Right,” Kara said nervously. After adjusting the glasses on her face, she worked to get to the point. “She hasn’t reached out to me and I was just wondering if you’d heard anything from her? I know she’s saved you a few times and I’ve seen pictures of you two together in the papers, I thought you might be close to her.”

“You could say that,” Lena muttered without thinking. Though she’d said it under her breath, Kara’s curious gaze told her she’d heard every word. “No, I haven’t heard from her. It’s been radio silence.”

Kara scribbled something down in the notebook before turning back to Lena, a worried look on her face. “Do you think she’s alright? This is so unlike her, what if something happened to her?”

Lena remained silent, afraid of saying the wrong thing. The moment in Kara’s apartment when the superhero had taken off her glasses and they’d both acknowledged the elephant in the room, Lena had internally vowed to protect Kara’s truly identity until the day she died. She decided then that it didn’t matter how many people she lied to, all the mattered was Kara’s safety. Never could she have imagined that one of the people she would be lying to about Supergirl was Kara herself.

“I’m worried about her,” Kara said, interrupting Lena’s thoughts.

“Me too.” As much as she tried, Lena hadn’t been able to keep her emotions from seeping into those two miniscule words.

Kara put the pieces together, her brows furrowing and the infamous crinkle becoming prominent. “Wait you two aren’t…do you I mean…you-you have feelings for Supergirl.”

Lena, completely stunned by the statement, looked wide eyed at Kara would was looking back at her with tears in her eyes. The fact that she couldn’t form a sentence to ease Kara’s worries didn’t help.

“I think I should go,” Kara muttered. Hastily she threw her belongings back in her bag and headed for the door. She was careful to keep her face away from Lena’s gaze, the tears forming in her eyes had begun to fall.

“Kara! Wait!” Lena called after her to no avail. Kara was already out of the door.

Lena could have easily caught up with her given Kara’s lack of super speed, but she remained seated. How could she reassure someone who was jealous of herself?

Kara kept her head down as she made her way through the L-Corp lobby, not wanting any onlookers to see her cry. It was amazing. A few minutes ago, she’d been so full of hope, so willing to wait for the woman who took up almost every waking thought she had, and now she was walking out the front door knowing that she’d already lost the battle. Of course Lena would want Supergirl. Who in their right mind wouldn’t? The Girl of Steel was quite literally out of this world. And if there was one person in this city who could capture the heart of such a person, Kara was sure it would be Lena Luthor.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts, she didn’t notice the black van stop behind her, didn’t notice the men approach her until it was too late. All of the strength in her body wasn’t enough to fight off the men as they dragged her away.

Later she thought, as she laid bound and blindfolded, with the van moving at such high speeds it almost felt like she was flying.


End file.
